What is the name of this game!?!?

Even when I decide to start out seriously, I always start insulting that faget Trip in about 5 minutes and kissing Grace.

When he opens the door to greet you, say "Fuck off". He just looks at you and shuts the door.

>>17241116
Façade

I made them silent

I kissed the girl too much

Whenever I play they just keep being quiet and staring at me.
Even when I don't say anything.
I don't like it, it hits too close to home ;_;

They're making a new game, a super advanced one

TRIP
Where are the new wine glasses?

GRACE
What for?

TRIP
That should be obvious!

GRACE
Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please!

TRIP
Jesus Grace, come on, I'm not asking a lot here! -- (interrupted)

(Al knocks on the front door.)

(Al knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Oh, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's right on time!

GRACE
God... Trip!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Al!!

TRIP
Hi! It's so great to see you! -- (interrupted)

AL
man, my dick is killing me!

(Trip closes the front door.)

(AL knocks on the front door.)

(AL knocks on the front door.)

(AL knocks on the front door.)

(AL knocks on the front door.)

(AL knocks on the front door.)

END

NOTHING EVER ENDS WELL.

ALSO BOB.

HOW DO I SLEEP WITH GRACE?

/r/ link.

>>17241642
http://games.softpedia.com/get/Freeware-Games/Facade.shtml

>>17241475
Same happened to me, I have a shitty PC so I guess it's just taking too long to process the dialog or something.

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sat Jul 05 22 23 09 2008

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it --

TRIP
I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?!

GRACE
You know I've had to ask you about this several --

TRIP
Get off my back! I'll get rid of it in just a minute!

GRACE
Fine, Trip... fine...

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Ian!!

TRIP
Hey! I thought I heard someone out here! God it's been so long since we've seen you! How are you doing, man?

IAN
hi

TRIP
Yeah, hi!

TRIP
Wow, it's so great to see you after so long.

TRIP
So come on in!

TRIP
Uh, let me go get Grace...

IAN
how about them sports teams

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

(IAN sits on the couch.)

I was 100% on her side I kissed her too much

>>17241735
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

IAN
HEY GUYS I CAN HEAR YOU

IAN
HEY

IAN
never mind

(IAN gets up from the couch.)

GRACE
Ian,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time!

TRIP
Yeah, how -- how are you -- (interrupted)

IAN
hi, youre busy

GRACE
H-mmm (happy smile sound)

GRACE
By the way, you look wonderful! -- (interrupted)

IAN
I see ok

GRACE
Aw, ha ha ha!

GRACE
And I have to say, you look great.

GRACE
So come on in, make yourself at home!

TRIP
Whoops, I need to go close the door.

IAN
thanks but im leaving

(Trip closes the front door.)

GRACE
Uh... well... um... (clears throat)

IAN
no, I need to go

TRIP
Heh heh, Ian, seeing you again makes me remember the good times we all used to have.


GRACE
Yes...

I waited for them to start arguing before dropping the niggertits.

Only shut them up for a minute though, they love arguing.

I also tried being silent and just sitting on the couch, they still argue the same shit. Eventually I got tired of their whining and blurted out "DEATH". Made them right nervous :3

it's nice how they know all the bad words there is

>>17241764
IAN
what, please open the door

TRIP
Yeah, you know,

TRIP
Grace's decorating has been such a great outlet for her.

GRACE
Outlet? What do you mean outlet?

TRIP
And I'm always encouraging her to -- (interrupted)

IAN
what

TRIP
Mmm...

TRIP
Hey, I just realized something. -- (interrupted)

IAN
have to GO

TRIP
Uh -- well, tonight is special!

TRIP
Ian, remember, it was almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that you introduced us.

TRIP
Senior year of college!

GRACE
Oh... god...

TRIP
Remember that? -- (interrupted)

IAN
my oven is on though

TRIP
Um, well, without you, we wouldn't even have this celebration.

IAN
will burn down

TRIP
uh... uh, heh heh...

>>17241798
GRACE
(nervous coughing)

TRIP
that's, uh...

TRIP
wha...

GRACE
(nervous coughing)

IAN
my house will burn down

TRIP
ha ha...

GRACE
ha ha...

TRIP
ha ha ha!

GRACE
ha ha ha ha!!

TRIP
Ha ha ha, heh, Ian,

IAN
please unlock the door

GRACE
heh heh heh...

TRIP
heh, you had me going there for a sec...

TRIP
heh, ha ha...

TRIP
Never afraid to push your luck, heh heh heh...

TRIP
mess with us ...

>>17241819
TRIP
heh heh, you're crazy, you know that?

TRIP
heh, ha ha...

TRIP
(big sigh) -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Ian, what are you doing? Are you leaving?

(IAN knocks on the front door.)

(IAN opens the front door.)

IAN
oh its open

IAN
ok cya

TRIP
Look, just come back in, don't -- don't make us think you're going to leave.

IAN
look, I told you my oven is on

TRIP
Alright, Ian, that's it, you've got to leave.

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- just go.

IAN
I KNOW SHIT

(Trip closes the front door.)

IAN
Ok.

(IAN points to the elevator button.)

(IAN points to the elevator button.)


-------------------------------------

So yeah. Needs a little work. Good try though.

People who are just now playing the game:

Say "Maria." Say it once, you get inside though.

>>17241822
lol i lol'd

>>17241822

Your name is Ian?

>>17242062
No it's Billy. Billy Blitz.

For purposes of this game, I assume the role of a character named Ian.

they don't have restrooms in their house! I asked for it about 7 times and the guy just keep on ignoring me!

>>17241861
i said it at the door

what the fuck is with trip not making me, his honoured guest, another drink after the the first time?, i asked him like 10 times.....

>>17241819

>IAN
my house will burn down

TRIP
ha ha...

GRACE
ha ha...

TRIP
ha ha ha!

GRACE
ha ha ha ha!!

TRIP
Ha ha ha, heh, Ian,

i fucking lol'd

TRIP
In a word, in a single word, what does this say to you?

GRACE
Adam, come over here, you'll be more comfortable.

TRIP
Shh!

ADAM
DONGS

TRIP
Uh, no no, that -- that's not it --

GRACE
Yeah, that's a good answer, I like that...!

TRIP
(little sigh) No, no... Adam, take another look, this says...

ADAM
ANAL

TRIP
Romance! It, it -- it says... romance...!

GRACE
(little sigh) Adam, I liked your answer better.

Is there porn of this yet?

>>17242675
=D

jesus, trip. let him go. his house is gonna burn down.

Trip is a faggot

I'm downloading this now. What's it about?

Trip is the most annoying douche I've ever met.

>>17242873
PEOPLE FIGHTING.

BEING INSULTING.

KISSING PEOPLE.

MARIA.

ART.

PEOPLE LEAVING.

USUALLY YOU.

>>17242898

ASKING THE 8 BALL IF TRIP IS GAY!

TRIP
HEY Will

Will
i fucked Maria

i lol'd

>>17242923
I'M NOT PLAYING AGAIN, I SAID MARIA AND NOTHING HAPPENED.

>>17241822
TRIP
Whoops, I need to go close the door.

IAN
thanks but im leaving

(Trip closes the front door.)

TRIP
Never afraid to push your luck, heh heh heh...

TRIP
mess with us ...

When Trip opens the door tell him "Hey Trip how's Maria been?" I laughed for a long time.

>>17242966
TRIPFAG is a diabolical motherfucker.

Me: Maria.
Trip and Grace: *Shocked faces*
Trip: Ma-Maria? How.. How did you... Oh.. Oh, you know... you know how to push our buttons. *nervous laughing*
Me: Maria.
Trip: THAT'S IT YOU'RE OUT OF HERE.

I swear, he let's you stay longer if you try to kiss Grace over and over.

>>17242969
please tell me, i don't feel like reinstalling

What happens if you approach the game as a desperate salesman?

>IAN
>my house will burn down

>TRIP
>ha ha...

>GRACE
>ha ha...

>TRIP
>ha ha ha!

>GRACE
>ha ha ha ha!!

>TRIP
>Ha ha ha, heh, Ian,

Lol'd hard.

>>17242873
Trip and Grace, two annoying douches, have invited you over to their studio. Possibly just to show off and be douches. But, instead of acting arrogant towards you, they start bickering amongst themselves. See, Grace wants to become a famous artist (she has cheated on Trip with a fellow coffeeshop goer with similar delusions named Vince) and chafes under Trip's controlling grip. Meanwhile, Trip only married Grace to hide that he's a dumb, insufferable womanizer (he has cheated on Grace with a woman named Maria). Sure, it only hides the last part (the other two being obvious to anyone who talks to him for more than a minute), but that's what counts to Trip. Both sides are unaware of the other's plight.

Why do you have to close and reopen it to play again? God damn.

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Sergio!!

TRIP
Hey! It's been too long, man! -- (interrupted)

SERGIO
Goodbye.

(SERGIO points to the elevator button.)

Did anybody try to be a Girl?

Damn! I wish I hadn't uninstalled this! The Maria stuff gave me an idea to do a Psycho Mantis run on it.

I CAN READ YOUR MIND. NOW PUT YOUR CONTROLLER ON THE FLOOR. YOU LIKE TO PLAY CASTLEVANIAAAAAAAAAA

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sat Jul 05 20 12 17 2008

TRIP
Where are the new wine glasses?

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Uhp, he's here!

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

(Adam knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!

GRACE
Trip...!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Adam!!

TRIP
Ah I'm -- (interrupted)

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Adam,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time!

ADAM
Hey, Trip, how's Maria been?

ADAM
ce, how's Vince?

GRACE
Uh... (clears throat) um... -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Well, um... make yourself at home, I guess...

TRIP
I'm just going to go close the door.

(Trip closes the front door.)

ADAM
No, seriously, Grace, how's Vince?

GRACE
You...

>>17243245
I did once. I kept trying to make out with Grace.

GRACE
You think...

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
who... uh...

PHONE
** RING **

(ADAM picks up the phone.)

PHONE
Grace? Hello?

GRACE
Adam, no! Please don't do that.

PHONE
Who is this? Grace is that you?

ADAM
Hello?

GRACE
Uhh, it's my dad, I can hear his voice.

PHONE
I don't recognize your voice...

TRIP
Oh!

ADAM
Vince?

PHONE
Excuse me, I must have the wrong number... ** click **

GRACE
Okay, he's being annoying, as usual... just -- just hang it up.

(ADAM puts down the phone.)

GRACE
Oh, good, you hung up. I can call him back later, or in a few days, heh.

TRIP
Where are the new wine glasses?

(Gonzalo knocks on the front door.)

(Gonzalo knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
What for?

TRIP
Uhp, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!

GRACE
God... Trip!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Gonzalo!!

GRACE
Um, wait...

GRACE
You think...

GRACE
who... uh... -- (interrupted)

ADAM
Hey, trip, where's Maria?

TRIP
Alright, Adam, that's it, you've got to leave.

ADAM
No, guys, where's Maria and Vince

TRIP
There's only so much you can expect to put up with, you know?

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- you should just go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

ADAM
I KNOW YOUR SECRETS

>>17243102
Do I just type what I want to say?

This is sounding a bit creepy.....

Is it possible to romance Grace? The closest I got was having Grace divorce Trip.

The wife got mad at me because I kept insisting that one sculpture of hers looked like a penis.

>>17243271

SOMEONE DO THIS!!!

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Gonzalo,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? I'm so happy to see you after so long!

GONZALO
Maria

GRACE
Uh... well... um... (clears throat) -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Well, anyway... make yourself at home...

GONZALO
Maria

TRIP
Gonzalo, let me get you a drink.

(Trip closes the front door.)

GONZALO
Maria

(GONZALO sits on the couch.)

TRIP
H -- hold on...

TRIP
You think...

TRIP
Maria...

(GONZALO gets up from the couch.)

TRIP
Ho ho ho, ha, heh you're -- you're really joking around tonight, aren't you, ha ha ha...

GONZALO
Nope.

GRACE
Ha, yeah, ha ha...

GONZALO
Maria.

TRIP
Ha, never afraid to push our buttons, ha ha ha, heh... -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Um, uh, wait...

TRIP
You think...

TRIP
Maria...

TRIP
Uh, ha... ha ha ha... uh... y -- well, you, uh... you're really, uhh...

GONZALO
Maria.

TRIP
Okay, Gonzalo, you know what? I think you should leave.

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- just go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

Sensitive Trip?

I told them about their taste in art....I was kicked out soon after.

>>17243213
I lol'd.

>>17243402
I said it looked like a dildo.

>>17243510
I said it in a Chad Warden voice.

Figured I'd repost the run throughs I posted last thread. http://rapidshare.de/files/39917428/WHY_IS_MY_NAME_GONZALO.txt.html


http://rapidshare.de/files/39918022/I_can_see_the_FUUUUTURE.txt.html

http://rapidshare.de/files/39918127/Don_t_ask_for_Freebird.txt.html

MICHAEL
And I be a plunderin' them, yar!

(MICHAEL puts down a trinket 7.)

(MICHAEL knocks on the front door.)

(MICHAEL opens the front door.)

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

(MICHAEL picks up a trinket 7.)

MICHAEL
Arr, this be my booty!

TRIP
Michael, you're not thinking of leaving are you?

MICHAEL
I be leavin' with me plunder!

TRIP
Come on back in, you can't leave so soon. Come on.

MICHAEL
Well, I'll stay for more rum.

(MICHAEL puts down a trinket 7.)

TRIP
Okay, Michael, I think this evening is over, you've got to leave.

(Trip opens the front door.)

(MICHAEL knocks on the front door.)

(MICHAEL knocks on the front door.)

(MICHAEL knocks on the front door.)

(Trip closes the front door.)

MICHAEL
What about me plunder?

>>17243671
okay, I laughed

>>17243671
I can't believe Trip tricked you into not stealing their stuff.

>>17243671
Dude you got punk'd by Trip

TRIP

You are the worst pirate ever

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sat Jul 05 20 27 56 2008

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it --

BEN
Oh god, why did I take this job?

TRIP
I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?!

GRACE
You know I've had to ask you about this several --

TRIP
Get off my back! I'll get rid of it in just a minute!

BEN
Who the hell wants to buy

GRACE
Fine, Trip... fine...

BEN
Turtle wax in a place like this?

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Ben!!

TRIP
Hey! I thought I heard someone out here! Great to see you! It's been a while, -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uh...

BEN
Oh thakn god, sir, please listen

>>17243738

TRIP
Y -- yeah, yeah...

TRIP
Well come on in...

BEN
I am here to sell you a very fine

TRIP
Y -- yeah, come in!

TRIP
Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace...

BEN
One of a kind bottle of

TRIP
Y -- yeah, yeah, uh, just -- just stay here...

BEN
Hey, don't go!

TRIP
Yeah, yeah!

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

BEN
Um...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

BEN
Oh god, I'm gonna lose my house

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

BEN
Sir, it's a very fine bottle of wax!

GRACE
Ben,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh god it's been such a long time!

TRIP
Yeah, yeah, how are you doing?

BEN
Ma'am, I'm selling turtle wax

>>17243773

GRACE
I -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Uh...

GRACE
So, come in, make yourself at home...

BEN
It'll keep your car nice and shiny

GRACE
Oh, ha ha ha!

GRACE
And, I've got to say, you look really good!

BEN
Oh, I'm bad at this.

GRACE
Uh... -- (interrupted)

BEN
Please, sir, please buy this wax

(Trip closes the front door.)

TRIP
Y -- yeah, yeah, I've, um -- mmm -- I've missed you.

TRIP
Hey, I just realized something.

GRACE
What...

BEN
Please, my kid's in the hospital

TRIP
Y -- yeah, tonight is special!

BEN
My wife's a paraplegic

TRIP
Uh, well, remember how you introduced us almost exactly ten years ago tonight?

BEN
I've got only 3 months to live!

TRIP
Um, well, without you, we wouldn't even have this celebration.

>>17243799

GRACE
So, Ben, -- (interrupted)

BEN
i need this money, please buy wax!

GRACE
Uh, yeah, well -- I want to ask you...

GRACE
Uhh, you know, this corner felt like it needed something... big... and bold...

TRIP
Yeah I like this couch.

BEN
Please, it's only 4 dollars!

TRIP
Ah, yes, Ben, I knew you'd like it. See, Grace?

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

BEN
Please, buy a bottle!

GRACE
Oh, uh...

GRACE
(frustrated sigh) So this couch seemed like the right choice at the time...

GRACE
but now I can see I should have chosen a simple, comfortable... love seat.

BEN
Sir, ma'am, the wax could keep

TRIP
Well hold on, hold on, take a closer look, give it a chance to soak in a little.

BEN
your lovely sculptures shiny

GRACE
That's funny, Ben, I'd guess you were flirting with me. -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Rob, we...

TRIP
Look, uh, we need to talk...

GRACE
Yeah.

TRIP
Rob, Thanks for coming over, you... I think you helped us.

(Trip opens the front door.)

ROB
am i supposed to leave?

TRIP
And no, Rob, please, it's okay...

ROB
what about maria

ROB
MARIA

GRACE
Bye. Thanks.

ROB
you just got robbed

>>17243825

TRIP
Ha ha, no, Grace, our friend's just kidding around, heh.

BEN
No, I'm only selling turtle wax

GRACE
I bet I can return most of this, and start over again on this room...

BEN
i know I didn't see a car

GRACE
Uhh!

TRIP
See, Grace, as always, you're the only one unhappy with your decorating. -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Uhh... right, I know, I'll never be satisfied with it, I -- (interrupted)

BEN
But please, please buy a bottle!

TRIP
Ben, yeah, Grace, nothing's wrong, everything's fine!

(Trip shakes the advice ball.)

TRIP
Perhaps.

TRIP
Hmm!

GRACE
(little sigh)

TRIP
I'm gonna fix us some drinks.

TRIP
Good news, I just fully loaded the bar, with the real quality stuff... only the Huh, oh, well -- -- (interrupted)

BEN
Please, it's a 64 oz bottle for 4bux!

GRACE
Ah it's good to see you two getting along so well.

>>17243873

TRIP
(clears throat)

TRIP
So! Drinks!

BEN
Please, really, my kid needs the

TRIP
How about a martini?

TRIP
Beautiful!

BEN
money!

GRACE
No no,

GRACE
Ben, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?

BEN
I want someone to buy wax!

TRIP
You know I'm just going to open a bottle of merlot or something,

BEN
Oh god, if I don't sell this

TRIP
Oh that -- that's just a little joke advice giver toy thing that I like to consult now and then...

TRIP
when I need a little guidance. Ha ha.

GRACE
His mother gave that to him.

TRIP
Stocking stuffer, heh.

BEN
If I screw up again

TRIP
(clears throat) -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Ha ha! Oh I think we're going to need some drinks first if we're going to talk about sex.

>>17243895

BEN
Maria's gonna kill me!

TRIP
H -- hold on... -- (interrupted)

TRIP
You think...

BEN
Oh no oh no oh no

TRIP
Maria...

TRIP
Ho ho ho, ha, heh you're -- you're really joking around tonight, aren't you, ha ha ha...

GRACE
Ha, yeah, ha ha...

BEN
NO, SHE'S PARALYZED.

TRIP
Ha ha, heh, never afraid to say anything that pops into your mind, ha heh heh...

BEN
There's nothing ot laugh about!

GRACE
So anyway,

GRACE
Yes, sometimes a simple glass of wine is better than those fancy drinks you always insist on making.

BEN
Guys, if I can't pay Dr. Vince,

GRACE
Hold on...

GRACE
You think...

BEN
My kid's gonna die!

>>17243909

GRACE
who... uh...

TRIP
Ah... ha ha... heh heh... ah, you're, uh... you're... -- (interrupted)

BEN
Please, Maria's gonna leave me

BEN
Please buy some wax!

TRIP
You know what, Ben, that's it, you need to leave.

TRIP
There's only so much you can expect to put up with, you know?

BEN
NO PLEASE NO

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- just go.

BEN
BUY SOMETHING

(Trip closes the front door.)

BEN
IT'S ONLY 4 BUCKS

(BEN knocks on the front door.)

(BEN knocks on the front door.)

(BEN knocks on the front door.)

New playthrough idea : Play as an alcoholic who's only friends with Trip because he pays for all the booze whenever you go out on the town. Your only goal for the evening is to drink all the contents of Trip's minibar.

>>17243917

Wow you got farther than anyone else.

>>17243738
>>17243773
>>17243799
>>17243825
>>17243873
>>17243895
>>17243909
>>17243917


Oh fuck I can't stop laughing

>>17243938

But my kid's dead.

God damn Trip is a faggot.
HIS KID WAS GOING TO DIE!

/r/ Text file of desperate salesmen runthrough.

>decompressing Facade sounds! This may take up to 30 minutes
>30 minutes
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

>>17243591
Same.

TRIP
uhh...

TRIP
Look, if you -- if you need to go, you know...

TRIP
Oh, Jesus... Christ...

GRACE
What? If you're talking to me, I can't hear you!

TRIP
I'm not!

GRACE
Emily, (annoyed sigh) Trip can just be so...

TRIP
Oh ho, so we're talking about me, are we?

GRACE
What?

(EMILY gets up from the couch.)

GRACE
Trip, it's your fault -- ten years ago, freshly married and just out of college,

(EMILY sits on the couch.)

GRACE
you convinced me to go into advertising, instead of art! -- (interrupted)

EMILY
ANAL JUICE

TRIP
Emily, come on, I don't feel like fixing drinks at this moment!

Mine doesn't save stageplays :(

>>17244008

Working on it

>>17244105

Desperate Salesman + 2 others that I thought were funny.

http://rapidshare.com/files/127495495/Facade_Playthroughs.rar.html

direct download. no need to thank me anon

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=JI9JNZ2H

/r/ Mark Twain stageplay

Some faggot said he did the whole thing as Mark Twain.

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sat Jul 05 22 40 54 2008

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it --

TRIP
I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?!

GRACE
You know I've had to ask you about this several --

ROBIN
One large pizza for a Mr. Trip?

TRIP
Get off my back! I'll get rid of it in just a minute!

(ROBIN knocks on the front door.)

(ROBIN knocks on the front door.)

(ROBIN knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
Fine, Trip... fine... -- (interrupted)

ROBIN
Hello?

TRIP
Oh, she's here!

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

TRIP
No, she's right on time!

GRACE
God... Trip!

(ROBIN knocks on the front door.)

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Robin!!

ROBIN
Hi here's your pizza...

>>17244195

TRIP
Ah I'm so happy you could make it! -- (interrupted)

ROBIN
take the pizza sir

TRIP
Yeah, hi!

TRIP
Wow, it's really really great to see you.

ROBIN
no it's hot

TRIP
Y -- yeah, yeah...

TRIP
Well come on in!

TRIP
Uh, let me go get Grace...

ROBIN
uh sir

ROBIN
the money...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

ROBIN
damn...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

ROBIN
HELLO!!?

ROBIN
THE MONEY!?

GRACE
Uh...

>>17244217

ROBIN
the money?

TRIP
Robin, you're not thinking of leaving are you?

ROBIN
god fine, I'll play along

TRIP
Okay, anyway... I forget what we were talking about...

ROBIN
oh you have a bar, get me a drink.

(ROBIN sits on the couch.)

TRIP
Oh, Robin, take a look at this photo I just put up from our trip to Italy a couple of weeks ago...

ROBIN
why?

ROBIN
I'm just a pizza delivery girl.

ROBIN
so you got the money or not?

(ROBIN gets up from the couch.)

ROBIN
what.. why are you silent?

TRIP
Hmm...

ROBIN
you don't have it do you...

TRIP
If that's how you feel... uhh... (annoyed sigh)

ROBIN
make me a drink now.

TRIP
(little sigh) (clears throat)

TRIP
Oh, yeah, let me fix us all some drinks in a sec!

TRIP
Ah, you'll be the first to sample from my new set of imported drinking glasses.

TRIP
Robin, Come here, I want you to look at this!

ROBIN
jesus, sir, I just want a quick drink

TRIP
Where are the new wine glasses?

GRACE
What for?

TRIP
That should be obvious!

GRACE
Oh God, Trip, don't turn this into a big production, please!

TRIP
Jesus Grace, come on, I'm not asking a lot here!

GRACE
What -- Trip, don't give me that look!

GRACE
You're going to drive me crazy!

(Rob knocks on the front door.)

(Rob knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Uhp, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!

GRACE
Trip...!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Rob!!

TRIP
Hey! God it's been so long since we've seen you! -- (interrupted)

ROB
Is this the 5:00 free crack giveaway?

(Trip closes the front door.)

ROB
Guess not.

>>17244247

TRIP
Uh, w - well, um, come here!

ROBIN
fine what?

TRIP
(little sigh) (clears throat)

GRACE
Robin, come over here and sit on the couch with me.

TRIP
No, hold on. Now, Robin, what does this picture make you think of? -- (interrupted)

ROBIN
okay I don't even know you guys..

TRIP
No, I just want one word...

GRACE
How about pointless.

ROBIN
Dicks

TRIP
Romance! It says... romance...!

GRACE
(little sigh)

TRIP
Well, I'm not going to bore you with the details about our romantic weekend... you can imagine.

ROBIN
jesus where is my drink...

TRIP
Yeah, hang on, ooh, I'm going to make you one of my fabulous drinks in just a minute!

GRACE
Uhh, -- (interrupted)

ROBIN
I don't even know you people.

GRACE
You don't agree...

>>17244321

GRACE
Huh, I think I forgot how well you two get along...

ROBIN
why am I still here..

TRIP
Heh heh, Robin, seeing you again makes me remember the good times we all used to have.

GRACE
Yes...

ROBIN
you have small faggot hands, Trip.

TRIP
uh... uh, heh heh...

GRACE
(nervous coughing)

ROBIN
now make me a drink..

GRACE
Okay, okay, this is getting really tiresome...!

GRACE
You know what, I'll be right back.

TRIP
Grace, what are you --

ROBIN
NOW... DRINK...

GRACE
No you two keep talking about the bar and drinks and the amazing view and everything...

GRACE
I'll just be in the kitchen.

TRIP
What? Where are you going?

ROBIN
what up grace...

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

GRACE
What? Oh...

ROBIN
you guys have a small kitchen

GRACE
Robin,

GRACE
I...

GRACE
(big sigh)

>>17244361

(ROBIN kisses grace.)

GRACE
Robin,

GRACE
we can't...

ROBIN
I'm going to break your marrage

GRACE
I'm...

GRACE
I -- I'm going to go back to the living room.

GRACE
Everything's fine, Trip, everything's fine.

TRIP
Yeah, yeah, everything's fine!

ROBIN
what was that?

GRACE
You know, ever since we got married, Trip is forever trying to get me to buy new furniture, and redecorate, -- (interrupted)

ROBIN
the cloverfield monster?

TRIP
How can you...

ROBIN
you know... the cloverfield monster

ROBIN
RUN NOW

TRIP
Okay, Robin, I think this evening is over, you've got to leave.

ROBIN
It's coming!

(Trip opens the front door.)

ROBIN
NO YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

>>17244405

TRIP
We'll be fine -- you should just go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

ROBIN
FINE FAGGOT

ROBIN
DIE

/r/ someone to do a playthrough of Captain Falcon.

Show me your moves!

I'm still waiting for these damn sounds to decompress.

>>17244484
jesus, what kind of shit computer do you have?

Is there any way to get Grace or Trip to sleep with you?

The MY NAME IS GONZALO one is legendary.

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sat Jul 05 23 57 34 2008

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

(Gonzalo knocks on the front door.)

(Gonzalo knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it -- -- (interrupted)

TRIP
I know -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uhp, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!

GONZALO
GONZALO PARTY TIME IS HERE

GRACE
God... Trip!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Gonzalo!!

TRIP
Hey! God it's been so long since we've seen you! How are you -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
i am gonzalo party clown!

TRIP
Yeah!

TRIP
Wow, it's really really great to see you.

TRIP
Well come on in!

TRIP
Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

GONZALO
gonzalo says hi!

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

GONZALO
GONZALO FEELS ISOLATED

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

GONZALO
gonzalo wishes to drink his life aw

GONZALO
ay

GRACE
Gonzalo,

(GONZALO picks up the red wine bottle.)

GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh it's so nice to see you, it feels like it's been forever!

GRACE
Uh... -- (interrupted)

GRACE
So, come in, make yourself at home...

TRIP
I'm just going to go close the door.

TRIP
Heh heh, Gonzalo, seeing you brings back good memories, you know?

(Trip closes the front door.)

GRACE
Yes, it does. H-mmm (happy smile sound)

GONZALO
are you two ready to PARTY?!

TRIP
Y -- yeah, tonight is special!

TRIP
Gonzalo, remember, it was almost exactly ten years -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
gonzalo!

TRIP
Uh, well, remember how you introduced us almost exactly ten years ago tonight?

GONZALO
I DO COCAINE

I tried to do this thing seriously. I was playing along, answering their questions. Then, one of them said something that made no sense so I said 'What'. They fucking freaked out and started yelling at each other for being shitty lovers. This game seriously needs some work.

TRIP
um...

TRIP
So, ten years ago... that's when you introduced us, right?

GONZALO
10 years since our last party?!

TRIP
Oh, well, thanks --

GRACE
Oh, Gonzalo, you always have such nice things -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
GONZALO FELT LONELY

GRACE
If that's how you feel... (annoyed sigh)

GONZALO
IT IS

TRIP
Ha ha! So we really want to thank you for years and years of... -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uh -- I - I mean, uh, it's, uh -- it's great you could be here tonight.

GRACE
Huh, you two really are getting along well tonight, heh...

TRIP
Oh, Gonzalo, I thought you might like this photo I just put up from our recent trip to Italy.

GRACE
Might like it? It's a beautiful -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
gonzalo loves it

TRIP
Oh, you'll never guess where I took that picture.

GRACE
Is this really something you want to brag about, Trip?

TRIP
Heh, I'll tell you about it in a sec.

GONZALO
I DONT CARE LETS PARTY

TRIP
Oh, ha ha ha, well...

GRACE
Well you're really good at saying what Trip wants to hear.

TRIP
(little sigh)

TRIP
Um... now,, -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
LETS GET DRUNK!

TRIP
Oh, yeah, let me fix us all some drinks in a sec!

They weren't at all interested in helping me catch Kira.

TRIP
Oh and I've got these fancy new cocktail shakers I'm itching to try out.

TRIP
Um... now,, Gonzalo, -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
gonzalo loves cocktails

TRIP
Yeah, hang on, ooh, I'm going to make you one of my fabulous drinks in just a minute!

GRACE
Uhh, Gonzalo, -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
FABULOUS

TRIP
Yeah, yeah.

TRIP
Um... now,, Gonzalo, what does this picture make you think of?

GRACE
Think of? Ha ha. That's easy.

TRIP
Gonzalo, -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
BOOZE AND HOOKERS

TRIP
No, I just want one word...

GRACE
One word... one word... wow, that's going to have to be some amazing word...

GONZALO
hm..

TRIP
Romance! It says... romance...!

GRACE
Romance! Oh, romance! That was tricky! Good one, Trip. -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
GONZALO NEVER FEELS THAT

GRACE
Oh, please, no more talk about the Italy trip tonight, if you don't mind...

(Trip shakes the advice ball.)

GONZALO
sex doesnt need to involve romance

GRACE
You...

GRACE
You think we should....

GRACE
have more sex...

TRIP
Ho ho ho, ha, heh you're -- you're really joking around tonight, aren't you, ha ha ha...

GONZALO
you and i? gonzalo would love to

GRACE
Ha ha, yeah...

TRIP
Ha ha, heh, never afraid to say anything that pops into your mind, ha heh heh...

TRIP
So! Drinks! -- (interrupted)

TRIP
What would you like?

TRIP
How about a martini?

TRIP
I served these at our last party, they were a smash.

GRACE
Trip, let's not go crazy with the drinks, -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
gonzalo would like chardegne

TRIP
Great! Martini it is.

GRACE
No no,

GRACE
Gonzalo, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?

GONZALO
WHAT I ASKED FOR CHARDEGNE

TRIP
You know what why I don't I just open a bottle of merlot and make it easy.

GONZALO
MERLOT IS GOOD TOO

GRACE
Yes, -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Oh, yeah, you know, I think I'll fix you a real drink in not too long...

TRIP
In terms of drinks...

(GONZALO puts down the red wine bottle.)

TRIP
Grace, I assume you want your usual... 'a lovely, very cold glass of Chardonnay'.

GRACE
I'm not in the mood to drink tonight.

GRACE
I don't want anything.

TRIP
Nothing?

TRIP
Great.

GONZALO
IS GRACE A PRUDE?!

TRIP
(little sigh)

TRIP
Ah, -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
GONZALO DEMANDS YOU DRINK

GRACE
Okay, okay, this is getting really tiresome...!

GRACE
You know what, I'll be right back.

TRIP
Grace, what are you --

GRACE
No you two keep talking about the bar and drinks and the amazing view and everything...

TRIP
What? Where are you going?

GRACE
I'll just be in the kitchen.

TRIP
Good news, I just fully loaded the bar, with the real quality stuff... only the best -- (interrupted)

(ANNE kisses grace.)

TRIP
uh... ha heh heh...

GRACE
(nervous coughing)

TRIP
well...

TRIP
you, uh...

GRACE
(nervous coughing)

TRIP
ha ha, heh...

ANNE
hehehehe

GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha, heh...

TRIP
ha ha ha!

GRACE
ha ha ha ha!!

TRIP
Ha ha ha, heh, Anne,

ANNE
you guys are weird

GRACE
heh heh...

TRIP
you're, heh, something else... heh... never afraid to...

TRIP
push our little buttons...

TRIP
heh heh, you're crazy, heh, you know that?

TRIP
ha ha...

ANNE
You jealous?

TRIP
(big sigh)

TRIP
Anyway... what were we talking about, heh?

ANNE
Come here big boy

GONZALO
now it's just you and i baby

(GONZALO kisses trip.)

(GONZALO kisses trip.)

(GONZALO kisses trip.)

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

GONZALO
gonzalo feels the love

TRIP
Um, uh, Grace, sw - sweetie pie, could you --

TRIP
could you bring out s - some of those... those...

TRIP
uh, tuscan sun dried tomato... spiced walnut... -- (interrupted)

(GONZALO kisses trip.)

TRIP
Um... well... uh....

GONZALO
grace will never know

TRIP
Gr -- Grace, -- (interrupted)

(GONZALO kisses trip.)

TRIP
Uhh! You -- you... wha... ah... heh...

GONZALO
gonzalo is a master of disguise

So, how about being completely silent

(GONZALO kisses trip.)

(GONZALO kisses trip.)

TRIP
Hey -- hey, uh... Gonzalo,

TRIP
I meant to tell you, we're going to have this big, big party next weekend.

TRIP
Do you -- do you think you can make it?

TRIP
It's gonna be great.

GONZALO
gonzalo would love to come

(GONZALO kisses trip.)

(GONZALO kisses trip.)

GRACE
So, what have you two been talking about in here?!

TRIP
Oh! uh, heh heh, hey... um... -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
parties, baby

GONZALO
so, is it sex time?

GRACE
Hey --

GRACE
uh --

GRACE
did you --

>>17244875
TRIP
Oh, well, uh, we've, uh... we've missed you. -- (interrupted)

(ANNE kisses trip.)

TRIP
you...

TRIP
Could you...

ANNE
I need a drink

TRIP
this...

GRACE
uh...

TRIP
How...

GRACE
She just...

TRIP
Before we forget... um...

TRIP
We need to call the...

GRACE
Right, yeah...

TRIP
the shoe repair guy...

GRACE
figure out how we're going to carry all that...

TRIP
Oh good idea, yeah, yeah...

TRIP
(long release sigh)

TRIP
yeah...

ANNE
I'm hungry

(NICK picks up the phone.)

ANSWERING MACHINE
** beep **

PHONE
Grace? Hello?

GRACE
Nick, no! Please don't do that.

NICK
hey whats up

PHONE
Who is this? Grace is that you?

GRACE
Uhh, it's my dad, I can hear his voice.

NICK
yes

PHONE
I don't recognize your voice...

TRIP
Oh!

PHONE
Excuse me, I must have the wrong number... ** click **

NICK
it's me

GRACE
Okay, he's being annoying, as usual... just -- just hang it up.

NICK
bye

(NICK puts down the phone.)

GRACE
Well, we're all friends here...

NICK
so what's for dinner

GRACE
did you pick up my dry cleaning?

TRIP
What? The d - dry cleaning?

GRACE
Yes, did you pick up my dry cleaning this morning, like I asked you to?

GONZALO
GONZALO FEELS AWKWARD

GRACE
What...? (annoyed sigh)

GRACE
You know, ever since we got married, Trip is forever trying to get me to buy new furniture, and redecorate,

GRACE
and -- and it's true, I kind of enjoy it but...

(Trip sips his player's drink.)

(Trip sips his Trip's drink.)

TRIP
Well, yeah, it's great, everybody loves it when they come in and see our -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
the fuck are you talking about

GRACE
But, Gonzalo, you have to look at this room, and admit it looks terrible.

TRIP
Grace --

GRACE
I mean, look around, this room is... it's hideous!

TRIP
Grace, no, no, don't say that! -- (interrupted)

GONZALO
GONZALO FEELS IRRELEVANT

GRACE
Oh, well...

GRACE
You know at work I waste all day designing ads for apartments like this,

GRACE
and then it makes me think, I want this style for my apartment...

TRIP
This style make me feel like I'm inside one of your ads, it's great!

GONZALO
inside my ass what

GRACE
but... -- (interrupted)

GRACE
God, Gonzalo, you've got a one-track mind tonight.

GONZALO
ASS TITTIES ASS ASS TITTIES

TRIP
uh... uh, heh heh...

after this, gonzalo left, but before that they laughed for awhile. shit sucked.

>>17244781
What?

i'll do a short one as cpt falcon now

Gonzalo is my hero.

Poor Gonzalo. All he wanted was to party but Grace and Trip kept talking about their feelings.

Can you name yourself Maria/Vince?

Would test it out myself however I have capped my internet so downloaing is slow

>>17245093
Not Maria, I wanted to see what would happen if you did that. I'm also guessing Vince isn't a choice either.

TRIP
Ben, yes or no...

TRIP
When you're married, can you try to change the other person to be even 'better' than who yourself are?

BEN
I AM BATMAN

TRIP
Look, don't bother answering, I don't need to hear it!

-----

(BEN picks up the advice ball.)

(The advice ball reads, "Never")

GRACE
All this stuff... mmm... Having all this money makes us so happy. We're so happy, aren't we Trip?

BEN
AM I BATMAN?

(BEN shakes the advice ball.)

TRIP
Well, I mean, Grace, what do you want? -- (interrupted)

GRACE
Nothing! I want nothing! -- (interrupted)

(The advice ball reads, "Why Not")

BEN
I AM BATMAN

(BEN puts down the advice ball.)

TRIP
Let's continue focusing on Grace.

TRIP
Ben, does it look like I want to fix you drinks right now?

BEN
I AM BATMAN

Am I doing something wrong? I try to make small talk, and even answer thier questions, and they seem to just stare at me.

(Espen knocks on the front door.)
(Espen knocks on the front door.)
TRIP
Uhp, he's here!
GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!
TRIP
No, he's supposed to be here now!
(Espen knocks on the front door.)
(Espen knocks on the front door.)
GRACE
God... Trip!
(Espen knocks on the front door.)
(Espen knocks on the front door.)
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP
Espen!!
TRIP
Hey! God it's been so long since we've seen you! How are you doing, man? -- (interrupted)
TRIP
Yeah,
GRACE
No, no, here we are!
(Espen picks up the phone.)
(Espen puts down the phone.)
GRACE
Espen, -- (interrupted)
(Espen kisses grace.)
GRACE
Oh, yes, let's... (polite kiss on cheek)
(Espen kisses grace.)
GRACE
Espen, you're so sweet.
(Espen kisses grace.)
(Espen kisses grace.)
GRACE
Well, come in, make yourself at home...
(Espen kisses grace.)
TRIP
Huh, I'll close the door.
TRIP
I'm gonna fix us some drinks.
(Trip closes the front door.)
TRIP
Ah, you'll be the first to sample from my new set of imported drinking glasses.
(Espen kisses grace.)
(Espen kisses grace.)
(Espen kisses grace.)
(Espen kisses grace.)
(Espen kisses grace.)
TRIP
You know what, Espen, that's it, you need to leave. -- (interrupted)
(Espen kisses grace.)
TRIP
We invited you over, but this is just not working out.
(Trip opens the front door.)
TRIP
We'll be fine -- just go.
(Trip closes the front door.)

Posting this because it includes a glitch, and it's mildly funny:


FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sun Jul 06 00 08 59 2008

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about it --

TRIP
I know I know I'll do it right now, alright?!

GRACE
You know I've had to ask you about this several --

JO
JO JO IS HERE

TRIP
Get off my back! I'll get rid of it in just a minute!

(JO knocks on the front door.)

(JO knocks on the front door.)

(JO knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
Uhp, she's here!

(JO knocks on the front door.)

(JO knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

JO
SHE

TRIP
No, she's supposed to be here now!

GRACE
God... Trip!

JO
YOU BITCH

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Jo!!

JO
I'M A MAN

Ok, just one more.

------------------------------------

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sun Jul 06 00 13 03 2008

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

TRIP
What, Grace... this?

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
Yes, you know how I feel about -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Oh, he's here!

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

(Ben knocks on the front door.)

GRACE
What?! You said he's coming an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's right on time!

GRACE
Trip...!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Ben!!

TRIP
Hi! It's so great to see you! -- (interrupted)

BEN
There's no time

TRIP
Uh...

TRIP
Well anyway... come in, I guess...

BEN
Trip it's an urgent situation

TRIP
Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

BEN
TRIP, there's no time

TRIP
(big sigh) I don't know...

MICHAEL
Why won't you two listen to me?

GRACE
uhh...

GRACE
Oh my God...!

MICHAEL
Do you guys understand English?

GRACE
This changes everything...

TRIP
Yeah.

TRIP
You... you really have to be an artist...

GRACE
You finally admitted it -- you just don't want me to be an artist...

TRIP
I manipulated you into marrying me...

GRACE
No, I -- I let it happen...

TRIP
Michael, I --

GRACE
Michael, we...

TRIP
Look, uh, we need to talk...

GRACE
Yeah.

TRIP
Michael, Thanks for coming over, you... I think you helped us.

MICHAEL
You're welcome.

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
And no, Michael, you don't need to say anything more...

MICHAEL
Could I get a drink?

MICHAEL
Tripp fix me a drink.

MICHAEL
I'm really thirsty.

GRACE
Bye. Thanks.

(MICHAEL picks up the red wine bottle.)

--Is this the "they're getting back together" one? It seems pretty lame.

TRIP
Hey! God it's been so long since we've seen you! -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uh...

TRIP
Well come on in...

TRIP
Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace...

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

JO
jo jo don't know what's going on

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

JO
jo jo want's some drinks

GRACE
Jo,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh it's so nice to see you, it feels like it's been forever!

TRIP
Yeah, how -- how are you doing?

GRACE
Uh, I just asked her that...

>>17245227
TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

BEN
You are needed!

GRACE
Ben,

GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh it's so nice to see you, it feels like it's been forever!

TRIP
Yeah, it's been too long. -- (interrupted)

BEN
WE, the EARTH, no

GRACE
Uh...

GRACE
Well, anyway... make yourself at home... -- (interrupted)

BEN
No, the universe needs you

GRACE
Uh...

TRIP
I'm gonna fix us some drinks.

TRIP
Good news, I just fully loaded the bar, with the real quality stuff... only the best for my guests.

(Trip closes the front door.)

BEN
Trip, there's no time, this is urgent

TRIP
I've got the perfect bottle of cabernet I've been saving for just such an occasion.

TRIP
No...?

GRACE
Trip we don't all share your infatuation with mixed drinks.

GRACE
Ben, maybe you'd like some juice, or a mineral water?

TRIP
Oh come on...

BEN
I am very fond of the drink

TRIP
You know what why I don't I just open a bottle of merlot and make it easy.

TRIP
I can ask too!

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

JO
protip: when they say jo

GRACE
Uh...

GRACE
Well, come in, make yourself at home...

JO
the "andrew" soundclip plays

TRIP
I'm just going to go close the door.

TRIP
I'm gonna fix us some drinks.

(Trip closes the front door.)

TRIP
Good news, I just fully loaded the bar, with the real quality stuff... only the best for my guests. -- (interrupted)

JO
hellz yes

TRIP
Y -- yeah, yeah, time for a drink.

TRIP
How about a martini?

JO
jo jo loves sum drinks

>>17245203
Just like real life!

>>17245227
BEN
however, you are needed on epsilon

TRIP
Uh, well, merlot will be fine, that's fine...

TRIP
Grace, what can I get you to drink tonight? Surprise me.

BEN
It is imperative we find the

GRACE
The merlot sounds fine. -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Well, I, uh -- I know what you want, Grace.

TRIP
Oh, Ben, take a look at this -- (interrupted)

BEN
conversion machine

TRIP
W -- well, um, come look at this Italy photo!

TRIP
Ben, Come here, I want you -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Here Grace, I poured you the first glass.

GRACE
Okay, thanks.

BEN
have you gone mad?

GRACE
Ben, -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Wha... uh...

GRACE
Oh, Trip, he's just teasing you... It's good, we all need that once in a while.

TRIP
Heh heh ha ha ha ha, ha...

TRIP
Alright, here you go!

BEN
Trip drop the cover, this is big

TRIP
No, hold on. Now, Ben, what does this picture make you think of?

GRACE
Oh, Trip, don't put our friend on the spot like that... -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uh, well, you know what, I'm just going to make you a martini.

GRACE
No no,

GRACE
Jo, how about something -- (interrupted)

JO
martini's are for bitches

TRIP
uh... uh, heh heh...

GRACE
uh...

TRIP
why...

TRIP
that's, uh...

GRACE
uuh...

TRIP
ha ha, heh...

GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha, heh...

TRIP
ha ha ha!

JO
get me a 40

GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha!!

TRIP
Ha ha ha, Jo,

GRACE
heh heh heh...

TRIP
heh heh, you had me going there for a sec...

TRIP
heh, ha ha...

TRIP
Never afraid to push your luck, heh heh heh...

TRIP
push our little buttons...

TRIP
heh heh, you're crazy, you know that?

TRIP
heh, ha ha...

>>17245255
BEN
bigger than us, or you

TRIP
No, I just want one word...

GRACE
How about tiresome.

TRIP
Grace, please. Ben, Just one word for this.

TRIP
You know what I'm just going to put this on the bar for you.

BEN
the whole universe is in urgent

TRIP
Romance! It says... romance...!

GRACE
(little sigh)

BEN
danger

TRIP
N -- n - no, no, oh, never mind...

TRIP
Alright, good, heh heh, maybe you're on my side tonight after all, ha ha.

TRIP
(little sigh)

TRIP
Ah, Ben, -- (interrupted)

BEN
Yes, if the machine is turned on

GRACE
Y -- yeah, no, wait, what's wrong, Trip?

GRACE
Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front of our friend --

TRIP
Disagreeing?! We're NOT disagreeing.

TRIP
We're not.

BEN
it will cause a QUANTUM

GRACE
You know, ever since we got married, Trip is forever trying to get me to buy new furniture, and redecorate,

GRACE
and -- and it's true, I kind of enjoy it but...

>>17245296

JO
jo jo don't want a martini

TRIP
(big sigh)

TRIP
Anyway... what were we talking about, heh?

GRACE
Jo, seeing you again makes me remember the wonderful times we -- (interrupted)

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
Oh, I'll get it --

TRIP
No, no no no, our friend's here, we can let the answering machine get it.

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
Trip, no, I want --

TRIP
Grace, come on, don't be rude.

TRIP
Why, are you expecting a phone call?

PHONE
** RING **

(JO picks up the phone.)

PHONE
Hello? Hello?

TRIP
Jo, no! Don't do that.

PHONE
Who is this? Travis, is that you? This is your mother.

TRIP
Uhh, that's my mother, I can hear her loud voice.

PHONE
I don't recognize your voice...

GRACE
Oh!

PHONE
I -- I think I have the wrong number... ** click **

>>17245313
(Trip sips his Trip's drink.)

(Grace sips her Grace's drink.)

BEN
IRREGULARITY

TRIP
Well, yeah, it's great, everybody loves it when they come in and see our latest decoration scheme!

GRACE
But, Ben, you have to look at this room, and admit it looks terrible.

TRIP
Grace --

GRACE
I mean, look around, this room is... it's hideous!

TRIP
Grace, no, no, don't say that!

GRACE
You know at work I waste all day designing ads for apartments with perfect views like this,

GRACE
and then it makes me think, I want to design it into my apartment...

TRIP
This view makes me feel like a million bucks.

BEN
TRIP, we are all going to die.

GRACE
but... dammit, I'm wrong, I simply want a view of trees and green!

TRIP
Trees...? what?

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

BEN
TURNED INTO ENRGY AND

TRIP
Grace, everything's fine! No one is complaining about your decorating --

GRACE
No, decorating is just --

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

GRACE
There must be some way I could --

BEN
DISSAPATED INTO THE VOID

>>17245335
TRIP
Grace, listen to me, people like your decorating, you're the only one who feels this way!

GRACE
Uhh, you are impossible...!

BEN
ONLY YOU CAN HELP US!

GRACE
I'm never happy...

GRACE
Trip, our whole marriage, you're so... controlling!

TRIP
(little impatient sigh) Ben, I...

TRIP
(frustrated sigh)

GRACE
No one is complaining...

GRACE
I'm stifled, Trip! Artistically! I need my life to have more feeling! Can't you see that?

TRIP
Oh, god...!

BEN
No one is more qualified than you.

GRACE
Okay, you know what, Ben,

GRACE
I need to ask you something.

TRIP
Grace --

GRACE
Trip, let me ask our guest a question.

BEN
You've fought them before.

GRACE
Ben, yes or no...

BEN
You know.

GRACE
In a marriage, shouldn't one person try to make their spouse a better person, even if they don't want it?

BEN
DROP THIS FACADE.

TRIP
Dave!!

DAVE
FALCOOOON... hug!

TRIP
Hey! I thought I heard someone out here! God it's been so long since we've seen you! -- (interrupted)

(DAVE hugs trip.)

TRIP
Ha ha, hi!

TRIP
Wow, it's really really great to see you.

TRIP
Come on in!

TRIP
Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace...

DAVE
let me show you my moves

TRIP
(unintelligable arguing)

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Hi! How are you? Oh it's so nice to see you, it feels like it's been forever!

TRIP
Hey, that's what I said! -- (interrupted)

GRACE
By the way, you look wonderful!

>>17245330


TRIP
Okay, she's confused, as usual... just -- just hang it up.

JO
it's travis's friend

GRACE
Oh, I wanted to say hello -- -- (interrupted)

(JO kisses trip.)

JO
whoops

TRIP
What did you...

JO
i meant to give the phone to you

TRIP
You know uh, we -- we really should... uh...

TRIP
We need to call the...

JO
and by accident i kissed you

(JO puts down the phone.)

TRIP
the guy that fixed our toilet...

GRACE
Right, yeah...

GRACE
get that paperwork finished....

JO
i love toilets

TRIP
Oh, yeah, yeah...!

TRIP
(long release sigh)

TRIP
yeah...

TRIP
Oh, -- (interrupted)

JO
yeaaah

>>17245356
DAVE
show me your boobs!

GRACE
Uh...

GRACE
So, come in, make yourself at home...

GRACE
So, Dave, I'm hoping you can help me understand where I went wrong with my new decorating, ha ha.

(Trip closes the front door.)

TRIP
Oh, Grace, let's not do that.

DAVE
i decorated the blue falcon great

TRIP
Well wait a minute! I don't think you've taken a close look yet. Let it soak in a little!

DAVE
FALCON KICK

GRACE
Oh, well...

GRACE
(little sigh) So this couch seemed like the right choice at the time...

GRACE
but now I can see how I should have chosen a simple, comfortable... love seat.

DAVE
PAUNCH

TRIP
See, Grace, no one has a problem with your decorating, it's fine!

(DAVE sits on the couch.)

GRACE
Well, I plan to return most of this anyhow. This room needs to be redone.

(DAVE gets up from the couch.)


DAVE
FALCON KISS

(DAVE kisses trip.)

>>17245355
TRIP
What?

GRACE
I mean, even if they don't actually want it, shouldn't you help your spouse understand a better way to be?

GRACE
Yes or no.

GRACE
Look, don't bother answering, I don't need to hear it!

BEN
MADAM, this is HIGHLY

GRACE
Don't you see, Trip?! Our marriage... is a sham, Trip! Don't you see that? It's all fake, all pretend...

TRIP
Oh, Jesus...!

BEN
HIGHLY IMPORTANT

TRIP
Uhh! You are uncaring.

TRIP
Just stay away from me.

TRIP
Uhh... goddammit, Grace...

TRIP
Oh... uhh...

BEN
Trip, come with me to the

TRIP
Ben, I can't believe this is happening...!

TRIP
uhh...

BEN
dispersement center

TRIP
Look, uhh... you probably want to get out of here...

BEN
we need to move out immediately.

TRIP
Oh, Jesus... Christ...

GRACE
What? Are you trying to talk to me?

TRIP
I'm not!

>>17245366
TRIP
uh... uh, heh heh...

GRACE
uh...

TRIP
whoa, that was, uh...

GRACE
wha...

TRIP
ha ha...

GRACE
ha ha ha ha ha, heh...

TRIP
heh, ha ha ha!

GRACE
ha ha ha ha!!

TRIP
Ha ha ha, heh, Dave,

DAVE
LET ME SHOW YOU MY MOVES

GRACE
heh heh...

TRIP
you're out of control, man...!

TRIP
mess with us ...

TRIP
heh heh, you're crazy, you know that?

DAVE
...in bed

TRIP
heh, ha ha...

TRIP
(big sigh)

TRIP
Anyway... what were we talking about, heh?

DAVE
RAAAAAAURRRGH

GRACE
Dave, seeing you again makes me remember the wonderful times we all used to have. -- (interrupted)

(DAVE hugs grace.)

>>17245370
GRACE
Ben, (annoyed sigh) Trip is just so...

TRIP
Oh, we're talking about me again, are we?

BEN
If we don't hurry, it's all over.

GRACE
What?

GRACE
Damn it, Trip, you and my parents are always planning these stupid trips I have to go on..

TRIP
They're vacations! Expensive ones at that!

GRACE
Of course nobody thinks to ask me what I want.

TRIP
Oh, now it's all my fault. Just because your parents and I get along, now it's some big conspiracy.

GRACE
God...

GRACE
No, let's switch to talking about Trip.

TRIP
Look around here. We're doing well, really well.

GRACE
God, Trip, I can't believe even now you're still...

TRIP
Oh yeah, you'd never admit that I've created a good life for us.

BEN
I BEG OF YOU, HELP US.

GRACE
Dammit Trip!

BEN
WE CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT YOU

TRIP
Uhh, this is insane...

GRACE
Let's talk some more about Trip.

GRACE
Ben, you -- you blame me for all this, don't you?

TRIP
See, I don't think you really want to be an artist. I've been right all along.

GRACE
Ben, do you agree with that lie?

>>17245358
TRIP
Well -- um, you'll love this incredible Italy photo!

JO
remember maria

TRIP
You...

TRIP
You think...

TRIP
Maria...

JO
she was a nice girl

TRIP
Ho ho ho, ha, heh you're -- you're really joking around tonight, aren't you, ha ha ha...

JO
didn't you two hook up?

GRACE
Ha, yeah, ha ha...

TRIP
Ha, never afraid to push our buttons, ha ha ha, heh... -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Oh, yeah, yeah,

TRIP
Jo, I have to tell you about our recent trip to Italy!

GRACE
Trip, she doesn't want to hear --

TRIP
Yeah, yeah, I'll tell you about it in a sec.

JO
i still don't have a drink

TRIP
Oh, yeah, y -- you know, I should fix you a real drink in not too long...

>>17245380
PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
Oh, I'll get it --

TRIP
No, no no no, our friend's here, we can let the answering machine get it.

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
Trip, no, I want --

TRIP
Grace, come on, don't be rude.

TRIP
Why, are you expecting a phone call?

PHONE
** RING **

GRACE
No, are you? -- (interrupted)

(DAVE picks up the phone.)

PHONE
Hello? Hello?

TRIP
Dave, no! Don't do that.

PHONE
Who is this? Travis, is that you? This is your mother.

TRIP
Uhh, that's my mother, I can hear her loud voice.

DAVE
maria?

PHONE
I don't recognize your voice...

GRACE
Oh!

PHONE
I -- I think I have the wrong number... ** click **

DAVE
maria?

TRIP
Okay, she's confused, as usual... just -- just hang it up.


TRIP
Maria...

>>17245387
BEN
There is no way to escape.

BEN
You can keep this farce going

TRIP
Grace, even though you're now a creative director at work,

TRIP
the truth is... you're not an artist.

GRACE
Uhh...!

TRIP
I'm sorry, you're not.

GRACE
Ben, uhh...

BEN
But, you can't run from your past.

GRACE
Ben, you see, this is what I've had to put up with, for ten goddamn years.

BEN
Remember your brother?

GRACE
Uhh...

TRIP
Look, let's switch the focus to Grace.

BEN
Remember what they did to him?

GRACE
Trip, what makes me so angry is your attitude!

TRIP
What?

GRACE
Ben, his attitude towards art, and artists, and everything that I care about!

BEN
That's CORPORAL Ben to you

GRACE
How can you say...

BEN
Madam.

TRIP
Look, let's not focus on just me or you, let's talk about us both.

GRACE
Trip, you just pretend to like all this stuff... fancy cigars, and fine wine...

>>17245421
TRIP
You think I'm not good enough...!

GRACE
I never said that! I'm saying there's more to you than all this...

BEN
Trip, don't make me do this

GRACE
Let's talk some more about us, our relationship.

GRACE
Trip, can't you see, it's the way you speak, the way you talk to me...!

TRIP
What, I'm not allowed to be angry?

BEN
If you don't come with us, quietly

GRACE
You tell me what to do, you don't listen.

TRIP
Ben, I'm not telling her what to do, I'm trying to help her!

BEN
we'll have no choice but to court

TRIP
Grace, we don't -- we don't have to do this... things are okay, we can just --

BEN
marshal you.

GRACE
Ben, I can't stand the pretending anymore... I can't take it!

TRIP
No, Grace, we can... I mean, come on, don't make it out to be so bad...

BEN
Do you want that? Do you?

GRACE
Uhh...

TRIP
Ben, give me some advice here...!

BEN
Remember the last time?

GRACE
Look, let's talk about Trip now.

TRIP
It's so annoying... you know lately I've been really trying to spend more time together...

TRIP
Ben, she makes it so difficult...

>>17245401

TRIP
Ha ha, heh, never afraid to say anything that pops into your mind, ha heh heh...

DAVE
maria is my lover in f-zero

TRIP
Uhh... ah... anyway.

DAVE
its canon check wikipedia shit

GRACE
Oh, I wanted to say hello -- -- (interrupted)

TRIP
No no, -- (interrupted)

TRIP
W -- well, uh, no, I -- I can talk to my parents later.

GRACE
Anyhow, Trip's parents... They're sweet people, really down to earth --

TRIP
Uhh, no, they're ignorant, they wouldn't know what a cumberbund from a cucumber.

(DAVE puts down the phone.)

GRACE
(frustrated sigh)

DAVE
LET ME SHOW YOU MY

TRIP
Well, we're all friends here, uh...

TRIP
Ah! -- (interrupted)

DAVE
CUMBERBUNG

TRIP
Uh -- well, um, we should drink.

>>17245438
TRIP
Let's have something really fun,

(DAVE kisses trip.)

DAVE
LIKE SEX

TRIP
we...

DAVE
LET ME SHOW YOU MY DICK

TRIP
Okay, Dave, you know what? I think you should leave.

DAVE
SHOW ME YOUR DICK

(Trip opens the front door.)

DAVE
FALCON KICK

TRIP
We'll be fine -- you just have to go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

DAVE
I DO NOT ACCEPT THIS

>>17245435
BEN
THERE IS NO TIME

TRIP
Okay, that's it, no more of this bullshit!!

TRIP
Ben, I know what you're hinting at, okay?!

BEN
Time will end if we don't do

TRIP
about me...

TRIP
Do you really want the truth? Huh?

BEN
something immediately.

TRIP
Ben, do you want to hear it?

BEN
Yes

TRIP
Grace?

GRACE
Yes...!

TRIP
Ben, well?

BEN
What is it?

TRIP
See, Ben, I've been paying attention to what you've been saying tonight.

TRIP
You've been trying to push me.

TRIP
And I wonder, are you really my friend or not.

GRACE
Trip!

TRIP
Ben, I ask you this -- yes or no...

TRIP
Do you really think that...

TRIP
criticizing me...

TRIP
and you don't even say 'yes' when I ask you if you want the truth...

>>17245400

JO
and i'm a man

JO
not a woman

TRIP
Now now, now, Jo, -- (interrupted)

JO
average

TRIP
Now now, now, Jo, what does this picture make you think of?

GRACE
Oh, please, Trip, don't put our friend on the spot --

JO
i could take a better picture

TRIP
Well, the thing is, you see, this trip to Italy... it was our second honeymoon!

JO
if i was dead

TRIP
N -- no, our second honeymoon picture says... -- (interrupted)

JO
death

TRIP
Romance! It, it -- it says... romance...!

GRACE
(little sigh) Jo, -- (interrupted)

JO
no it doesn't

>>17245463
TRIP
that it's all supposed to make me realize something about myself?

TRIP
Is what little you've said tonight supposed to add up somehow to something?

BEN
There is no time for friendship.

TRIP
Is it? Just give me a yes or no.

BEN
yes.

TRIP
This is not a trick question.

TRIP
No? Huh, well, I thought it did add up to something, actually.

BEN
Yes, damn you.

TRIP
Okay... look... heh heh... (big sigh)

TRIP
Ben, Everything's fine... we're -- we're not... uhh... we're fine.

GRACE
Yeah... yeah.

BEN
We are NOT fine.

TRIP
If you need to go, you know, that -- that's -- that's fine...

BEN
We are all going to die.

TRIP
Look, Ben, we're fine, nothing's changed... we'll see you out.

BEN
You must come with me!

GRACE
It was nice to see you.

(Trip opens the front door.)

BEN
Trip.

TRIP
Alright, so, um, we'll, we'll, we'll -- we'll see you, at some point, stay in touch, alright?

BEN
Trip, please reconsider.

>>17245472
"
GRACE
Oh, please, no more talk about the Italy trip tonight, if you don't mind...

(JO sits on the couch.)

TRIP
Well look I won't bother you two with this anymore...

TRIP
Not -- (interrupted)

JO
good

TRIP
Y -- y - yeah, oh, uh, never mind...

GRACE
(big sigh)

GRACE
Oh God, Jo, I hope you didn't come here tonight to be entertained...

TRIP
What?

JO
hey grace remember vince?

GRACE
Listen to -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Grace, come on, it's not helping things for you to say that...

(JO gets up from the couch.)

GRACE
Trip, there's nothing wrong with disagreeing in front of our friend --

TRIP
We're NOT disagreeing.

TRIP
We're -- we're -- we're not disagreeing.
"

>>17245499
GRACE
Ben, please...

BEN
I am your friend.

TRIP
Uh, come on, Ben, just go, please...

BEN
But this is beyond us.

BEN
Trip..

TRIP
Okay, Ben, I think this evening is over, you've got to leave.

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- you just have to go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

BEN
Trip..

(BEN knocks on the front door.)

(BEN knocks on the front door.)


-----------------------------------------------------

Farthest I ever got too. I bet I could sell the rights for this to be published as a paperback novel..

>>17245531
"
TRIP
(frustrated sigh) Sheejus.

JO
does anyone remember vince?

TRIP
Okay, Jo, you know what? I think you should leave.

JO
what' did i do

JO
GUYS

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- you just have to go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

JO
I JUST WANTED TO DRINK
"

I thought trip didn't know who Vince was.

LEAVAN GAEMS

>>17245255 BEN
No, the universe needs you

GRACE
Uh...

TRIP
I'm gonna fix us some drinks.

But the WHOLE UNIVERSE IS GOING TO DIE

I can't do shit in this game, no one responds to anything I say.
I even screamed "NIGGER MARIA NIGGER"
And nothing.
Am I NOT supposed to hit enter after I type something?

>>17245692

Did you try saying double nigger?

GRACE
Look I know you love my decorating, everybody loves my decorating. Except for me. Let's talk about something else, God... -- (interrupted)

ED
This room is hideous.

GRACE
What?!

TRIP
Grace, it's fine, you know how our friend can sometimes like to tease, that's all.

ED
The room. It's hideous.

GRACE
Ed, I don't... what --

TRIP
you're really trying to get on Grace's good side tonight, aren't you, huh?

ED
You heard me.

TRIP
Um, uh, wait...

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sun Jul 06 00 29 53 2008

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Noah!!

TRIP
Hey! I thought I heard someone out here! God it's been so long since we've seen you! -- (interrupted)

NOAH
get in my ark

TRIP
Uh...

TRIP
Well come on in...

TRIP
Uh, I'll -- I'll go get Grace...

NOAH
GET IN THE GOD DAMN ARK

TRIP
Y -- yeah, yeah, uh, just -- just stay here... -- (interrupted)

GRACE
No, no, here we are!

GRACE
Noah,

NOAH
THE FUCKING APOCLYPSE

GRACE
Hi! How are you? I'm so happy to see you after so long! -- (interrupted)

NOAH
ITS COMING

GRACE
Uh... (clears throat) um...

GRACE
Uh...

NOAH
GET IN MY ARK QUICK

GRACE
Well, come in, make yourself at home...

TRIP
I'm just going to go close the door.

NOAH
THE WORLD WILL FLOOD

TRIP
Heh heh, -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Oh, well, uh, I've -- I've missed you.

(Trip closes the front door.)

TRIP
Hey, I just realized something.

NOAH
JESUS ARE YOU PEOPLE DEAF

GRACE
What... -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Uh -- well, tonight is special!

TRIP
Noah, remember, it was almost exactly ten years ago, tonight, that you introduced us.

TRIP
Senior year of college!

GRACE
Oh... god...

TRIP
Remember that?

NOAH
WE CAN TALK ON THE ARK

TRIP
Huh? No, we're good, I'm good, everything's good... -- (interrupted)

NOAH
COME WITH ME

TRIP
Um, well, without you, we wouldn't even have this celebration.

(NOAH knocks on the front door.)

(NOAH opens the front door.)

TRIP
Um, well, without you, we wouldn't even have this celebration.

NOAH
YOULL BE WITHOUT ME

TRIP
Uh -- I - I mean, uh, it's, uh -- it's great you could be here tonight. -- (interrupted)

NOAH
IF YOU DONT COME NOW

GRACE
Oh, what? ... I, uh, I want to ask you...

GRACE
Uhh, you know, I've been collecting these little glass sculptures for God knows how long now. -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Noah, what are you doing? Are you leaving?

NOAH
FOLLOW ME

>>17245830
TRIP
Okay, anyway... I forget what we were talking about...

NOAH
THE END OF THE WORLD IS NIGH

TRIP
Oh, Noah, I thought you might like this photo I just put up from our recent trip to Italy.

GRACE
Might like it? It's a beautiful picture of the Italian countryside, of -- (interrupted)

NOAH
i dont give a shit!!

TRIP
N -- no, no, come look at this Italy photo!

GRACE
Oh, I've been, uh, collecting these sculptures for a while now...

NOAH
THE END OF THE WORLD!!!

GRACE
uh... -- (interrupted)

GRACE
By the way, anybody, join me on the couch if you like.

NOAH
YOU'LL ALL DROWN

GRACE
Noah, I'm sorry. See Trip, I knew I should never have let you put up that picture, it's making our guest uncomfortable.

(NOAH sits on the couch.)

TRIP
(little sigh) You know, uh, Noah, this -- (interrupted)

NOAH
its not about a fucking picture

>>17245751
Just did, NO RESPONSE.
Is my game broken

TRIP
Hey, hey, uh -- why don't you, um... invite that woman in accounting you were telling me about... um...

TRIP
What was her name...

DOUG
MARIA.

TRIP
Alright, Doug, that's it, you've got to leave.

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
We'll be fine -- you just have to go.

(Trip closes the front door.)

Click the "Give a tip" at the end for a good time.

>>17245355

BEN
You've fought them before.

GRACE
Ben, yes or no...

BEN
You know.

GRACE
In a marriage, shouldn't one person try to make their spouse a better person, even if they don't want it?

BEN
DROP THIS FACADE.

I lol'd heartily

>>17245356
Why didn't you name him Doug?

I haven't finished downloading it yet, but what happens if you set your name to Maria?

>>17245912
Hahahaaaha, wow.

>>17245859
Same shit with me..NOTHING happens.I could stand there,knocking,etc for 15+ minutes...nothing..

Anyone actually got the to the end of the game where they both are happy?

>>17246110
I did.

goddamn
saw this on cinematic completly forgot a bout it thank you /v/

http://rapidshare.de/files/39924651/Facade_Stageplay_Sat_Jul_05_20_12_43_2008.txt.html

SNAKE EATAA

>>17246124

Was it worth it?

>>17246110

The wuss male wasn't happy with his childhood, so they needed to talk and I got out of there.

Oh god I just finished downloading this I can't wait

FACADE STAGEPLAY
Sun Jul 06 14 45 43 2008

GRACE
Trip, when are you going to get rid of this?

(Ray knocks on the front door.)

(Ray knocks on the front door.)

TRIP
What, Grace... this? -- (interrupted)

TRIP
Oh, he's here!

GRACE
What?! You told me it'd be an hour from now!

TRIP
No, he's right on time!

GRACE
God... Trip!

(Trip opens the front door.)

TRIP
Ray!!

RAY
i was raped on the bus over here

TRIP
Hey! God it's been so long since we've seen you! -- (interrupted)

(Trip closes the front door.)

The closest I ever got was when Trip admitted that he's ashamed of his parents and that he's secretly been jealous of Grace's upbringing.

But then Grace was like "YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD ME SOONER" and left

>>17246192
I just checked and it might not have been the "happy ending" but they told me that I helped them, they didn't get divorced, and I didn't get kicked out.

>>17244304

I laughed so hard.