File : 1260079780.jpg-(42 KB, 553x267, jesus christ.jpg)
42 KB Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:09 No.5955695  
>Hogwarts sighed and it echoed within his empty halls. The students had all left for the summer and he felt empty and useless. Hagrid was often around, but he was usually too focused on bizarre animals to fulfill the needs of Hogwarts. Professors would pop in occasionally, but being a magic school, Hogwarts didn't need much upkeeping. The little he did need was taken care of by Filch. ...

>The giant squid saw how miserable Hogwarts was. It was true that he also missed the students, but for an entirely different reason; he missed their terrified screams as he revealed himself, rising from the murky depths of the lake.

>His huge eyes stared mournfully at his very large tentacles. At one time, he had dreams of being an actor. The larger he grew, the fewer agents and scouts would come calling, until they finally stopped altogether. There wasn't much in the market for a squid that would split a schoolgirl from stem to stern.

>He stared at his tentacles as they moved gently in the current. Schoolgirls were out... A plan formed in his mind and he swam to the surface, hesitating momentarily before pulling himself from the water. It ran off of his rubbery skin in rivulets as he made his way across the grounds. No humans were around to witness the incredible trek and no human would believe his eyes had he been a witness.

>Hogwarts watched the giant squid approach and felt apprehension well up in his kitchen. "What are you doing?" The words weren't spoken, but they were understood.

>"Just trust me," the giant squid replied, caressing Hogwarts' outerwalls.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:10 No.5955712
>"I'm not ready!" Hogwarts exclaimed, trying to push the giant squid away with his magic.

>"Hogwarts, you're lonely, I'm lonely. We don't have to be. Besides, you can't go around manipulating your staircases."

>"You know about that!"

>"Everyone does it. Sort of."

>"That's beside the point. I've never..." The temperature within rose in embarrassment.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:11 No.5955717
>"I'll go slow. I promise." He began to caress a window, teasing it open. Hogwarts sighed, the fight leaving him. He relaxed, allowing the tentacle inside, where it brushed against the inner walls before settling on the stone floor. He fastened the suction cups to the floor, lifting the tentacle away so that it pulled on the floor without losing its grip.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:12 No.5955732
>Another sigh swept through the halls of Hogwarts. "Oh, Merlin. That feels so good." His rapture turned to fright as he felt a tentacle work its way into a second window. "I don't--"

>"Trust me. It'll feel good. Remember this?" He pulled the suction cups a little harder and Hogwarts groaned.

>"Do that again." The giant squid complied and as he did so, thrust his second tentacle in. Hogwarts shuddered, coming very close to ending the fun. The giant squid backed off, unwilling to finish so soon. He waited for Hogwarts to calm down before sending the second tentacle to search the room. He felt the need to fill Hogwarts as much as possible and he raised another tentacle, caressing his outer walls, running along windowsills and tracing individual bricks. So caught up in the bliss, Hogwarts didn't notice the giant squid slip in a third and fourth tentacle.

>"This is incredible," Hogwarts breathed.

>"This isn't even the best part." He held up his two longest tentacles. "These can reach farther than a room; they can go into your hallways."
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:13 No.5955743
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:14 No.5955757
>"I want them in me."

>"Are you sure? They're quite large."

>Apprehension rolled through his kitchen again. While he was deciding, the giant squid forced another tentacle in. "You have three tentacles left to decide."

>"What happens if I don't?"

>In response, the giant squid slid a sixth into another window. "Two," he said simply and with a hint of warning.

>Hogwarts could take them all, he knew he could. But what would the other wizarding schools think? Would Beauxbatons allow a giant squid to violate her? Certainly not! If Durmstrang ever found out, there'd be no end of teasing.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:15 No.5955771
>The giant squid grew impatient and slid a seventh tentacle into a window, followed immediately by an eighth. "Two. One. Time's up and you didn't decide."

>"What! But that's not fair!"

>"It's a simple answer: yes or no. Now I'll have to punish you." And with that, he struck Hogwarts square on the outer wall with a paddle-like tentacle. Hogwarts yelped and tried to squirm away, but the tentacles and his foundation held firm. The giant squid struck him with the other. Again and again he spanked the naughty wizarding school until he sobbed for the giant squid to stop. And still he spanked.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:15 No.5955778
>The giant squid finally stopped, but Hogwarts didn't have time for a reprieve before the giant squid forced his extra long, spanking tentacles into two separate windows. They slid through the room and forced the doors open, the pain only adding to Hogwarts' pleasure. The tentacles were in the halls now, massaging the long, stone tunnels.

>This was incredible, the giant squid thought. He really should have done this ages ago. Every tentacle was in a different window. No schoolgirl, no matter how many movies she made, could hold all ten tentacles at once. Each one moved differently and with a different pace, driving Hogwarts crazy with the inability to match his speed.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:16 No.5955785
     File1260080168.jpg-(146 KB, 500x475, 1256933437857.jpg)
146 KB
>this thread
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:16 No.5955786
I am getting an erection for reading this.

God dammit, what the fuck is wrong with me?
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:16 No.5955792
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:17 No.5955802
>He felt that familiar feeling and doubled his efforts. Ink exploded all over Hogwarts, some finding its way into the windows. He unified his tentacles somewhat, completely focused on Hogwarts. He must be close.

>Then it happened: water shot out of faucets, toilets overflowed and bread set in ovens to keep warm by thoughtful house-elves exploded. Hogwarts shook violently to his foundations, rousing Filch from bed and sending house-elves and Mrs Norris scrambling for cover. Even Hagrid heard the groan of stone and came running.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:17 No.5955812
>They searched around the castle and through the castle, but found no sign of intruders. Most perplexing was the sticky ink on one side of the castle. Hagrid peered through the dark toward the lake, but was unable to see the ripples left in the wake of the giant squid.

>The giant squid slipped beneath the waves, wanting to grin even though his beak was incapable. He anticipated a very short summer before the professors and students returned, so he had better make the most of it.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:18 No.5955818
architectural bestiality?
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:18 No.5955821
OP, you are now required to post a fic of Hermione taking a swim and having a run in with this squid.

Do it. Now.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:19 No.5955844
I've found one of Malfoy being literally skull fucked by his father (I wish I was making this up)
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:20 No.5955856
HP fans are fucking crazy.

But I really want that Hermione/ squid story.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:21 No.5955860
What the fuck did I just read?
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:24 No.5955901
this is wrong
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:28 No.5955938
why would anyone ever be possessed to write this
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:33 No.5956007
I have a friend who showed me Harry/ Snape fan fiction. It was kind of tame I guess but it still made flinch.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:35 No.5956017
Still waiting on my Hermione/ squid fapfic.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:37 No.5956042
>Trembling again with desire, he positioned himself at the opening to Draco's skull, and gave a thrust. Fuck. The hole was too small. His shaft remained exposed to the empty air, unable to penetrate the hard shelter that held the prize.

>Cursing himself for the delay, Lucius rummaged through his clothes, looking for a file. Ah, there it was. He practically ran the few steps back to the body, and hastily filed at the edges of the hole. Chunks of flesh came off; they too needed to be removed before he would have access.

>Time to try again. Lucius was still rock-hard: he probably would be for the rest of the night, long after the body also became similarly stiff. This time, he entered easily. He paused a moment with just the tip of his penis next to the brain. He changed his angle a bit, feeling the moist folds of it against the head of his prick. Each motion felt like the gentle swish of a butterfly's wings.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:38 No.5956055
     File1260081524.png-(84 KB, 263x232, 1257494440804.png)
84 KB
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:40 No.5956067
     File1260081605.jpg-(74 KB, 618x302, 2281253113_c9f5b81627_o.jpg)
74 KB
>the groan of stone
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:41 No.5956078
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:42 No.5956085
     File1260081726.jpg-(57 KB, 476x360, picardfacepalm.jpg)
57 KB
Fucking NOOOO
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:43 No.5956097
     File1260081795.png-(3 KB, 208x208, 1259899254344.png)
3 KB
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:43 No.5956099
that it, GAME OVER MAN
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:43 No.5956107
WHO would write this? WHY?
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:44 No.5956118
This thread makes gay incest fics seem tame.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:47 No.5956143
How do I request archive? This insanity must be documented for future purposes.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:48 No.5956150
     File1260082113.jpg-(103 KB, 740x555, 1237518756250.jpg)
103 KB
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:50 No.5956163
     File1260082221.jpg-(7 KB, 251x150, 1258643960032.jpg)
7 KB
>the groan of stone

>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:50 No.5956164
As a guy who actually read the whole thread for no apparent reason this picture is killing me with laughter
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:50 No.5956166
As a Harry Potter fanfiction reader/writer, I have to tell you this is fairly tame. I've seen all sorts of incest, time travel incest, parallel universe pedo rape, HagridxDobbyxHarryxFangtheDog, and an assortment of other oddities.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:51 No.5956175
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:53 No.5956197
     File1260082398.jpg-(9 KB, 192x141, billpony.jpg)
9 KB
For my next story

>Bill the Pony and Treebeard in "Proving Azzy Wrong"

(not even kidding this story actually exists)
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:53 No.5956200
I just cant stop laughing, this is ridicolous!
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:54 No.5956212
there are no words
>> notop 12/06/09(Sun)01:55 No.5956221
Takes place after Harry's 5th year.

It was a quiet night midway through the summer of 1996 when Hogwarts GameKeeper Rubeus Hagrid was walking through the Forbidden Forest. As he neared his destination he suddenly heard a high pitched female scream coming from a location near his. Hagrid thought he recognized the voice as one of his student's and he wondered what they were doing in the Forbidden Forest of all places during the middle of the Summer Holiday.

As Hagrid entered the clearing up ahead he saw something that he never thought he would, Cho Chang being mauled by a Hogwarts Thestral. During his time as GameKeeper Hagrid had personally trained these Thestrals to never attack students. He realized that if word of this ever got out he would either be fired, or be killed depending on the mood of the wizarding public. So he did the only thing he was smart enough to think of, he grabbed Cho's bruised and battered body and ran towards Albus Dumbledore's office.
>> notop 12/06/09(Sun)01:56 No.5956228
Hagrid rushed towards the Castle doors, slammed them open, and galloped to the Headmaster's office. "Headmaster Dumbledore!" He cried, slamming Cho's corpse onto the desk, splattering blood overvarious important papers, "I found 'er in da threstral clearing, Sir!" He shouted over enthusiastically.
"Sir?" Hagrid asked again, looking around. Dumbledore was gone! "'Ogwarts buisiness, no doubt," he said to the corpse. "Well, I'll jus' let ye kip in me cabin 'till Dumbledore shows up, great man Dubledore..." while cradling Cho's lifeless body in his arms, he proceeded to tell her his life story...good thing she was already dead.
"Ya know yer a good listenr!" He boomed out, making his way to his cabin. "Tha's good," he said absently towards the corpse.
"Ye'd be real pretty if ya didn't have that blood on ya," He placed her in his trough 'gently' cleaning her wounds.
>> notop 12/06/09(Sun)01:57 No.5956238
As hagrid cleaned the blood off of Cho's gaping wounds he couldn't help but notice that she was rather attractive. 'No wonder 'Arry dated yeh.' He thought to himself "I wonder how yeh two got." He said out loud to no one in particular as he removed her skirt and undergarments.
>> ThePreacherKobold !KVaqQ0CI3E 12/06/09(Sun)01:57 No.5956239
     File1260082659.jpg-(49 KB, 560x420, 1258824277796.jpg)
49 KB
>This thread
>> notop 12/06/09(Sun)01:58 No.5956242
Hagrid's trash lid sized hands spread open the rapidly stiffening corpse's legs and stuck in a finger.
"Yer a Virgin, eh?" He said. the sight of the Cho's vagina had aroused him greatly, "I best fix that for ya!" he said excidedly. Removing the rest of her clothing, he noted that only her arms and legs were badly mauled. He removed his pants and coat.
"Yer in for tha ride of a life time," he purred, massaging her. Hethen stuck his MASSIVE penis in her mouth, moaning as he was given a postmortem blowjob. Unbeknownst to Hagrid, Cho's lower jaw had been popped out of place due to his *ahem* size(You know the old saying about the size of a man's foot compared to the size of his *ahem* nether regions).
"Cho, Cho, CHO!" he cried as he spewed his seed in her mouth. "I don' think ye could handle it if I went much farthar," he murmered into her ear, and went to sleep.
Cho laid on the table, still dead, her jaw wobbling slightly as the semen slowly went into her lungs.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:58 No.5956247
     File1260082739.gif-(350 KB, 200x183, 1238098957696.gif)
350 KB
>> notop 12/06/09(Sun)01:59 No.5956251
Hagrid awoke the next morning to the smell of a long dead corpse, and his love juices. "Wha' did I do las' nigh'?" He wondered to himself. Then he turned to face the now rapidly decomposing corpse of Cho Chang. "Well I can' show yer ter Dumbledore now." He said aloud to no one in particular. "He migh' ask me how yer body got inter the condition tha' it's in, an' we can' 'ave tha now can we?" He said again, this time Fang barked in agreement and began to lick Cho's mouth which still had Hagrid's love juices drying on it.

It was at this moment in time that Hagrid noticed he was immensely turned on. He lifted Cho up onto his still naked lap. "Well I guess there won' be a risk o' hurtin yeh." Hagrid purred as he began to slide his half-giant sized penis into Cho's vagina. "Yer already dead." He moaned and with one quick thrust sent all of his cock into Cho's rotting corpse, tearing through her womb and into her innards. He began to come close as Fang started licking his balls.
>> notop 12/06/09(Sun)01:59 No.5956254
As he scrubbed the table and floor of his 'love juice', Cho decayed slowly, her entrails falling onto the chairs. Dumbledore entered the door as Hagrid finished cleaning. "Hagrid! How nice to see you, who is that on the table?"
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)01:59 No.5956255

Kind of anti-climatic
>> notop 12/06/09(Sun)02:00 No.5956260
Hagrid glanced nervously at Cho's badly battered corpse. "Erm tha's nuthin Professer Dumbledore sir." Hagrid replied uneasily, as he continued to sneak apprehensive glances at the defiled body. "It's jus' sum meat fer tha' thestrals," He continued.

Dumbledore had known Hagrid for many years and through that experiance and some minor legilimency he knew Hagrid was lying to him. "Really Hagrid if you were going to shag a students body why didn't you invite me?" He asked in a slightly hurt manner. "Our three-way with Myrtle 50 years ago was simply incredible." He intoned these words with a hint of nostalgia, betraying how he truly felt.

Hagrid was dumbstruck, he had never realized his former transfiguration professor and current boss had those feelings. "Well sir," he said with a lustful undertone in his voice, "she hasn' bin dead more than 24 'ours." He then winked at the aged headmaster.
>> notop 12/06/09(Sun)02:02 No.5956267
Hagrid looked at his aged boss disrobing and he remembered the last time something like this had happened.

FLASHBACK: I am to lazy to italicize.

"Professer Dumbledore Sir, I swear I di' not kill 'er." A young Hagrid told his 80 year old Transfiguration Professor. "I Know you didn't Rubeus." The professor replied. "But Professor Dippet's mind cannot be changed on these matters." He sighed before continuing "tell me Hagrid have you ever thought about girls before?"
Hagrid was floored why was the professor asking him this instead of helping him get out of this mess? "Well... a sur." Hagrid replied uncertainly though unable to keep the aroused undertone completely out of his voice.
"Well if you want to Hagrid I can show you some things." Professor Dumbledore growled out as he removed Myrtle's nude corpse from the body bag.

Back to Present:

Hagrid remebered that afternoon well. And thought to himself 'It sure was good of Tom to take those pictures for us.'
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)02:02 No.5956271
     File1260082953.jpg-(68 KB, 320x240, RandyMarshJizz.jpg)
68 KB
My thoughts exactly.
>> notop 12/06/09(Sun)02:04 No.5956284
Hagrid stumbled over to the dresser by his bed and pulled out a time worn album of photos. On the front was a picture of the Potters and Weaslys in a massive orgy. At one time he'd wondered if he should give the photo album to Harry, considering it contained so many great photos of his parents... but the Weaslys were just as prominent throughout it's pages and he didn't want to deny Ron the opportunity to own such a treasure either. So he kept it for himself and brought it out on special occasions, like when Fang was feeling particularly naughty.

The half giant brought the photo album to Dumbledore, who was seated naked next to Cho's dead body, running his wrinkled hand through her hair and smiling. Hagrid licked his chops as he remembered the special lessons that the headmaster had shown him after they'd finished with Myrtle oh so many years ago. He could almost feel the wrinkly prick bobbing around in his mouth. The feeling of course made him extremely hard so he had a bit of trouble navigating around the table to hand Dumbledore the photos, and eventually he just gave up and used his massive penis as a club against one of the thick table legs.

Cho's body crashed to the ground as the unsteady table fell and Dumbledore was left with just a fistful of hair. It didn't seem to bother him much though as he was still smiling and now holding out his hand to accept the book from Hagrid.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)02:05 No.5956291
>like when Fang was feeling particularly naughty.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)02:06 No.5956302
     File1260083211.jpg-(33 KB, 534x436, 1259463434652.jpg)
33 KB
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)02:07 No.5956306
i lol'd
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)02:09 No.5956322
>>used his massive penis as a club against one of the thick table legs.

wait, what?
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)02:10 No.5956332
     File1260083423.jpg-(350 KB, 600x800, 1256655675848.jpg)
350 KB
r u?
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)02:12 No.5956348
>"Really Hagrid if you were going to shag a students body why didn't you invite me?" He asked in a slightly hurt manner. "Our three-way with Myrtle 50 years ago was simply incredible."

Oh. My. God.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)02:14 No.5956368
     File1260083661.jpg-(102 KB, 641x534, 1255797585395.jpg)
102 KB
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)02:17 No.5956407
     File1260083842.gif-(1.67 MB, 319x186, 1260032623829.gif)
1.67 MB
I wish the authors were the aborted babies in my gif
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)02:19 No.5956434
     File1260083963.jpg-(48 KB, 529x367, gokuannefrank.jpg)
48 KB
>Goku and Anne Frank in "Until the End of Time"
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)02:20 No.5956447
     File1260084041.jpg-(33 KB, 639x506, 1256889913033.jpg)
33 KB
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)02:21 No.5956452
>"Goku! You came here expecting to find a madman, but instead, you found a GOD!" Hitler had become a Super Saiyan.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)02:23 No.5956483
     File1260084211.png-(193 KB, 388x283, 1254631215628.png)
193 KB
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)02:28 No.5956535
>That night when Hitler and Jesus were in bed together Hitler said “Jesus, what do you think of... love between men?” “What do you mean, Hitler?” Jesus asked. Hitler took a deep breath. He would have to be bold. “This is what I mean.” He leaned over and started Frenching with the Lord. At the same time he reached down and started tugging on his already turgid member (Christ slept in the buff).

>Jesus broke off the kiss. “Hitler I – I don't know if I can do this. It feels so good, so right, but I'm afraid. I've never been with another man before.” “I've never been with a man, either, Jesus. I'm scared, just like you are, but we can't let our fears rule us! I love you, Jesus. Do you love me?” Hitler's eyes had tears in them. Jesus smiled. “Yes, Hitler. I love you.” They embraced. Again, they kissed passionately. Hitler continued to jerk Christ off. When he began to tense up Hitler lowered his head to Christ's stiff member and caught Christ's sticky seed in his mouth. There was an incredible amount of it and it splashed everywhere. When Hitler rose up again Jesus locked lips with him. He could taste his own salty semen in Hitler's mouth, and he didn't care. Jesus was happy for the first time in his life.
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)02:28 No.5956543
     File1260084531.jpg-(31 KB, 600x600, malfoy.jpg)
31 KB
>> Anonymous 12/06/09(Sun)02:29 No.5956548
     File1260084565.jpg-(32 KB, 264x351, 1253794206681.jpg)
32 KB
>this thread