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23 KB Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:19 No.3046574  
/tg/, I know you are not /r/; but there is a rare image I have seen only on this board so here I shall ask.

I require the rather well done painting of a hutt sith battling a human (I think) jedi.

In return, bees.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:22 No.3046586
THAT is one brave fucking kid right there.
>> LogicNinja !X/WncDCXNA 11/23/08(Sun)00:22 No.3046587
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>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:35 No.3046654
>>3046586
>THAT is one stupid fucking kid right there.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:38 No.3046664
>>3046654
They're not predatory, man. They don't hate you. Don't fuck with bees and they won't fuck with you.
>> LogicNinja !X/WncDCXNA 11/23/08(Sun)00:40 No.3046675
>>3046664
NOBODY FUCKS WITH THE BEEZUS
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:41 No.3046679
>>3046675
And if you do, they'll sting the bee-jeezus out of you!
Ba-dum-BUM.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:43 No.3046689
>>3046664

Unless they're Africanized or whatever, then getting close to their nest *is* fucking with them.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:43 No.3046690
>>3046664
Sure killer bees won't sting and swarm you with an entire hive they just want to hug and cuddle you. Also can you tell me how to spot the difference between a honey bee and an Africanized one?

Oh wait there isn't any until they sting something to death.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:44 No.3046692
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Bees you say?

Also:
>>3046679
Your joke is bad and you should feel bad.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:49 No.3046701
NOW THIS IS HOW IT STARTED, LET ME GIVE YOU A SHOW
ABOUT HOW I WAS COVERED IN BEES FROM MY HEAD TO MY TOE
AND I'D LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTE, DON'T YOU GO NOWHERE PLEASE
I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT HOW I'M FUCKING COVERED IN BEES

IIIIIIN SOVIET RUSSIA, BORN AND RAISED
COVERED IN BEES IS HOW I SPENT MOST OF MY DAYS
CHILLIN' OUT, MAXIN', BEING COVERED IN BEES
AND JUST PLAYING WITH MY HORNETS, SITTING ON MY KNEES
WHEN A COUPLE OF BEE FARMERS STARTED STEALING MY FUN
HAD TO SPRAY THEM DOWN WITH MY TOMMY GUN
I WAS COVERED IN BEES WHEN THE BOSS CAME NEAR AND SAID
"YOU'RE JOINING THE COBRAS, GO SIT BY THE FEAR"

I HOPPED INTO THE WIG AND WAS FEELING A BIT ILL
THERE WAS A DEAD OLD MAN AND AN ASTRONAUT AT THE WHEEL
IF ANYTHING, I COULD SAY THAT THIS SHIT REEKED OF CHEESE
BUT I THOUGHT "NAH, FORGET IT, I'M COVERED IN BEES!"

I - PULLED - UP TO THE BASE ABOUT SEVEN OR EIGHT
I POSED DRAMATICALLY AND I SHOUTED "GRENADE"
I LOOKED AT THE SHAGOHOD, RIGHT HERE AT MY KNEES
AND I BECAME THE PAIN, I'M FUCKING COVERED IN BEES
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:50 No.3046710
>>3046690
>Also can you tell me how to spot the difference between a honey bee and an Africanized one?
The grass the child is kneeling on is green and lush, as opposed to brown, dead, and brittle. Therefore, she it outside the parched hellscape that is the American Southwest, which currently belongs to killer bees.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:51 No.3046714
>>3046710
You do know they are spreading and can cope through winter correct?
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:54 No.3046729
>>3046710
As a beekeeper, that's wrong. The africanized kind have been moving north steadily into greener pastures, and keep trying to breed with my fucking bees making horrible aggressive broods and goddamn, I hate them so much. Anyway. Also, that girl IS stupid. She's going to have a bee land on her, and then when she crushes it, (which she will, being a kid) the others are going to sting her too, and she'll have an unpleasant day.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:54 No.3046731
>>3046710

It's only a matter of time before they develop an immunity to the cold and kill us all.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:54 No.3046738
>>3046714
Well, normal bees can keep through the winter. But yeah, fuck those guys messing up my carefully bred colonies.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:56 No.3046743
>>3046731
Oh, do you wanna hear the worst part of my bee stories? The ones that keep getting knocked up by the africanized ones? Mine -ARE- cold resistant.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:57 No.3046745
>>3046729
>as a beekeper
Wait, what. Seriously? What, you want to keep the bees, not let any of'em get away, you like your women the way you like your coffee - covered in bees?
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:57 No.3046752
Hornets, on the other hand, take proximity and breathing as sufficient provocation.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:58 No.3046758
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>>3046745
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:59 No.3046761
>>3046745
yeah, I'm a beekeeper. I play traditional games over the internet because I gotta live away from civilization, and thus have few physical friends. Also, I love the bee-covered ladies.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)00:59 No.3046766
>>3046710

Irrigation, mate. I live in a godamned desert and as long as we water our lawns they're green and lush
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:03 No.3046809
ITT we assburger's the fuck out of a throwaway joke, apparently.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:05 No.3046822
>>3046761
I don't believe you have bees. Enjoy your thriving urban social life and plentiful gaming groups.

/r/ing pictures of you with your bees.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:06 No.3046823
>>3046809
I'm sorry, don't you like bees? Not good enough for you? I devoted my whole fucking LIFE to bees! you think you're BETTER than me?
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:06 No.3046825
>>3046761
Can you tell me about what being a beekeeper is like? I'm thinking of making a character who is or was a beekeeper.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:07 No.3046831
>>3046822
I'll buy a webcam.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:08 No.3046836
>>3046701

Holy shit, I'm gonna start singing this.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:09 No.3046842
>>3046822
You appear to be mistaken. See, he DIDN'T give his name as Jim Profit...
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:09 No.3046845
>>3046831
but seriously, wtf, do you live on a farm or something? Where?
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:10 No.3046846
>>3046825
Well, beekeeper life is enjoyable. We get to wear suits that scare children, and a beehive is like... It's like a pet, that throws it's organs up too feed. And, you can shoot that pet in the nads and put new ones in, and it gets -BETTER-.

Also, beekeepers have high CON. and willpower.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:12 No.3046853
>>3046846
What do you do day-to-day? I mean, is it, like... go to the hive, rustle up some bees, and watch them get nectar out of flowers, or some shit? I dunno, it's just hard to imagine it as a job.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:13 No.3046860
I don't think this guy is really a beekeeper. Lies.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:13 No.3046862
>>3046845
I have an earth shelter house overlooking some farms. Also, spend a lot of time away from it, as I have to travel around if I wanna deliver bees to where they need to be pollinatin'. Or else, you know, food don't get grown.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:19 No.3046885
>>3046853
Nah, I check the bees three or four times a week. I make sure that the observation hive is clean, has few dead bees inside, and it's supers are getting filled properly by the bees. Basically, a lot of bee keeping is in making sure your bees are strong enough to take care of themselves and stopping any diseases before they become plagues.

Also, I spend a lot of my off time collecting wild bee-nests from private property, doing some exterminating, and crafting wax and bee related pariphanalia.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:19 No.3046886
>>3046862
>Also, spend a lot of time away from it, as I have to travel around if I wanna deliver bees to where they need to be pollinatin'.
Then how do you get internet access then, huh?

Also, what's up with those weird blue-green-ish shiny bees?
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:21 No.3046899
>>3046885
>crafting wax and bee related pariphanalia.
"Bee-related paraphernalia"? I'm picturing, like, giant wax bees.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:24 No.3046923
>>3046761
>>I accept your challenge!
"Beekeepers, yes… They've gotta want to be – 'I want to be a beekeeper! I wanna keep bees! Don't wanna let them get away; I wanna keep them! They have too much freedom … I want bees on elastic, so when they get pollen, they come back here! My father was a beekeeper before me, his father was a beekeeper before him; I wanna walk in their footsteps … and their footsteps were like this: [running wildly from imaginary bees] "Aaargh! I'm covered in bees! Aah! Covered in bees!'' 'Cause that's your job, isn't it? They must lose it – beekeepers must lose it occasionally. You know, you're there, you've got the netting, you've got 2,000 bees … 'raarzzz-bzzzzz' … and essentially you're trying to steal honey. 'Bzzzzz!' 'Morning! Morning! Morning! Hello, hello! Knock-knock, coming in! Hello! … Look! There's a Ferrari over there – can you see that Ferrari? [stealing the honey] Yes, it's going very fast, isn't it? Well, good morning, thank you!' They must be walking back with all these bees around, and at some point, they must go: 'What the fuck am I doing? I'm covered in bees! Help! I'm covered in bees!' And you don't get the normal perks of a normal job, like people who work in an office; they have other people there, you can flirt, you know? You go: 'Hey! Oh, you're new here, aren't you? How are you getting on? Do you want a coffee? I was gonna go get a coffee – I can get you a coffee … You know, I like my coffee like I like my women – in a plastic cup!' [does double-take] Beekeepers can't do that! 2,000 bees: 'bzzzzz' … 'Hello there, you in the street! You're new, aren't you?' 'Huh?' 'Do you want a cup of coffee? It's no problem!' 'Bzzzzz …' 'No real problem …' 'I don't want a cup of coffee from you! You're covered in bees!' 'I-I like my women like I like my coffee, er, covered in bees! [to the bees] All right, back off, back off! Argh!'"
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:27 No.3046939
>>3046886
It's fall. Not much pollinating to be doing at this time of the year.
And those bees are the kind that american settlers used in the colonial days. They went wild.

>>3046899
Yeah, I DO make those. sometimes. but mostly just A. hippy crap (hippies fucking LOVE bees) B. people goddamn love beeswax for candles, catholics especially. and C, bees make this awesome antibacterial powder, it's fucking great.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:29 No.3046953
>>3046923
That...

That's a lot more depressing than you realize how accurately you got that.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:30 No.3046960
>>3046939
>A. hippy crap (hippies fucking LOVE bees)
YOU'RE BURT, AREN'T YOu

>>3046953
He obviously copy/pasted it from a transcript, duh.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:32 No.3046974
>>3046960
>Burt

godDAMN you burt

damn you to hell

take MY customers will you
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:37 No.3046999
>>3046974
Beekeeper fight, beekeeper fight!
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:38 No.3047015
>>3046953
Yeah, >>3046960 caught me. Why the hell would I bother to type out a transcript when I happen to know that some *other* sad-sack has done that very thing and posted it to Wikiquote? I just like to spread Izzard wherever I go, and the BEEEEEES meme makes it almost childishly easy.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:39 No.3047018
>>3046999
don't even start it. Last time there was a beekeeper fight, famine struck so hard that there was cannibalism for three counties.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:40 No.3047026
>>3046939
Why do Catholics love beeswax candles so?
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:40 No.3047028
>>3047015
well, it's not as depressing then. But still, depressing to a beekeeper. Can't take the bees out ANYwhere.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:41 No.3047033
>>3047026
I don't quite know, something about an ancient papal requirement for a specific amount of beeswax in holy candles, I think.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:42 No.3047036
>>3047028

Still more interesting than a lot of jobs. If, you know, you actually talk to other people and not just your bees.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:43 No.3047038
>>3047033
I'm going to ask my Catholic friends about this now.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:43 No.3047041
>>3047036
well... I do SOMEtimes.

occasionally.

I just don't... you know... get out often.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:43 No.3047042
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did someone call for ZaBee
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:45 No.3047051
>>3047028
How would you take them out, exactly? Would you put them in a little Radio Flyer and trundle them about the town? How very KC!
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:46 No.3047059
>>3047051
Well, that's how I WANT to do it, but as I said, I can never take them ANYWHERE. makes it impossible to give them walksies.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:47 No.3047062
>>3047041
Beekeeping sounds like a lonely job. At least you can take solace in how important you are in maintaining food supplies, right?
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:47 No.3047064
>>3047059
Maybe if you tie a very thin string around a single bee...
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:48 No.3047070
>>3046899

Really? I pictured the Hank Hill of beekeeping.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:50 No.3047075
>>3047062
Well, it's not so bad. I DO have the bees. Many a night I've fallen aslumber to thoughts of the magnificent buzz.

Also, being vital to food is nice. I hope to muscle all my competition out of the market with my super-bred bees, and then become the bee-baron of american food, thus giving me political power. Of course, my bees aren't there yet.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:54 No.3047089
I suppose if you had a queen bee you could put her in one of those introduction boxes where the drones gotta eat the plug out of. Than you could walk up to people and be like "PAY YOUR DUE RESPECT TO ROYALTY, PEASANT!"
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:55 No.3047090
>>3047070
Oh God how I lol'd.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:56 No.3047091
>>3047089
Yeah, I could do that, but if anyone DOES offend royalty, I don't want to pay for their medical bills. And they WILL offend royalty, people always turn into idiots when bees are introduced.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:56 No.3047094
If you haven't seen this before, it is worth a read (about BEEEES):
http://s2.largeimagehost.com/img/untilted/eQtFhcr/beees.jpg.html
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:56 No.3047097
How about making some sort of wire cage backpack that you could "walk" the bees in? You'd look ridiculous, but if you made it well, the bees wouldn't get out and you could take some around with you.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:57 No.3047103
>>3047075
>Many a night I've fallen aslumber to thoughts of the magnificent buzz.
BEES DON'T BUZZ THAT LATE AT NIGHT.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:58 No.3047104
>>3047097
Nah, too heavy. -BUT-

I could build some kind of detatchable wire cage over my wagon! then, I COULD trundle the bees around town! you're a genius, teegee.

>>3047070
well, I do have a love of bee and bee-related accessories.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:58 No.3047106
*cough* Bag of Swarms *cough*
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:58 No.3047107
>>3047103
that's why I said THOUGHTS.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:59 No.3047109
>>3047103
>thoughts of their magnificent buzz
>thoughts
>THOUGHTS, MOTHERFUCKER
Do try and read it before you begin griping about it
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:59 No.3047111
>>3047107
well, it's more like I can kinda almost always hear a low level buzzing. You know, just at the edge of hearing.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:59 No.3047112
>>3047070
"Don't piss 'em off, or they'll all sting ya at once, I tell ya whut."
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)01:59 No.3047114
>>3047104
"Bring out your bees!"
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)02:00 No.3047121
How often do you get stung, /Traditional Beekeeper/?
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)02:06 No.3047137
>>3047121
It started out with three or four stings every time I worked with them, then is steadily dropped until I started working without gloves, where it jumped up into twenties. It went down still, and I could remove more gear. It only went up moderately each time after that, and the veil I only ditched a few years ago. I still use them, of course, if I'm doing anything more than doing my regular checks of the bees.

also, fucking 4chan eating my posts
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)02:06 No.3047138
OH GOD! THEY'RE IN MY EYES!
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)02:06 No.3047141
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>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)02:20 No.3047198
>>3047137
Sounds painful.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)02:26 No.3047210
>>3047198
It started painful in the beginning, yes. But, as I basked in the buzz, the pain dulled, and was replaced with the urge to forge the greatest bees man has ever known!
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)02:29 No.3047225
>>3047141

Thanks, but that's not it.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)02:34 No.3047240
>>3047210
You're on your way to becoming the Pain at this rate.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)02:38 No.3047252
>>3047240
I hope to one day be just as covered in bees as he is.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)02:39 No.3047259
You know, I always wanted to be a beekeeper for around 4-5 years. See what it's like.

Always wondered how hard it'd be to get into the business. Didn't want to have any of my own, just work for someone else, maybe. They all seemed pretty self sufficient, though.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)02:41 No.3047265
>>3047259
Beekeepers are generally crazy hermits- If you go and ask them, there's a good 25% chance they'll take you in for apprenticeship. Because, you know, EVERYONE wants an apprentice.
>> EmperorPalpatine !!1WTe606YTIj 11/23/08(Sun)02:50 No.3047284
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>>3047265

I could definitely use one... My last one fucking tried to kill me. Any takers? C'mon we have a medical/dental plan and everything.
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)02:56 No.3047313
>>3047284

Do you have a union?!
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)02:58 No.3047323
>>3047284
quit bogarting all the apprentices! I need some!
>> Anonymous 11/23/08(Sun)02:59 No.3047326
s'late. beekeeper signing off.
>> EmperorPalpatine !!1WTe606YTIj 11/23/08(Sun)03:01 No.3047330
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>>3047313

What are you, a Teamster?! I told you bastards a million times. I'm sorry so many of you blew up but maybe if you'd done a little more building and a little less 3 hour lunch breaks the fucking Death Star would have been done on time!!!
>> LogicNinja !X/WncDCXNA 11/23/08(Sun)03:09 No.3047368
>>3047313
>D'you have a *flag*?
Fixed.