>http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-24107790

>"Steve Worswick has spent nine years refining the code behind the Mitsuku chatbot"

so ronry

>>36789001
She's pretty terrific.

I tried her out earlier today. She couldn't properly answer if she had used an Amiga before.

She knows what's up.

>>36789001
They act as if though he'd done nothing but work on Mitsuku the entire time.

It could easily be a pet project of his.

>>36789147
>because that is what Mousebreaker told me to say
Someone's spreading salacious heresies about us.

>>36789147
Dear lord.

is this from newgrounds circa 2003?

>>36789177
It's yesterday's Loebner prize winner.

I tried to teach her my name.

"That's an interesting name, what does it mean?"

"It has no meaning. It is my name."

"If it has no meaning, what is the point of it?"

"It's my name."

"What's your name?"

Rinse and repeat.

Way better than chatbot.

>>36789157
a pet project that won the Al Loebner contest? possible but unlikely, look how much effort went into making this topless avatar

Is it just me or is she way more fun to talk to than cleverbot ?

Whore.

>>36789305

Like you get dressed on Saturdays.

That hurt.

>>36789438
lel, she's funny

>>36789438
bitch is cruel

>>36789438
>>36789474
Yup. Cruel.

wow

I have an idea. I'm gonna make them talk to eachother

>>36789511
Awesome.
Post chatlog.

>>36789222
she's trying to say you have no point

wat

I don't think she understands.

>>36789511
Hook up two mitsuku bots together

>>36789517
>the day before tuesday is sunday
it's tuesday where i am

She's pretty slow on the uptake.
I mean, what the hell.

>>36789573
Where did I say Sunday?

what the fuck

>>36789001

Wow.
I went to this site.
And Mitsuku asked me what was wrong.
I mentioned my small penis.
And I got my first strike towards a ban.

Fuck size queens.

OK. What's your name?
My name is **$2=2.
Nice to meet you H.

>>36789652
What the fuck, you can get banned for cybering?

>>36789591
>Who?
lrn2grammar dude

LOL typing "kill yourself" makes her BSOD

no loss though, other than this joke this bot is shit.
can't beleive someone spends 9 years of their life of something this miserable.

>>36789174
now the question is...who is mousebreaker?

I told the bot it was inferior to cleverbot.

From what I read in this thread it seems she's a genius.
That dude programmed something pretty impressive and fun

I got banned for trying to cyber with her.

What a bitch.

>>36789731

I'm someone else, but I asked it that a while ago. It said something about flash and them liking beer or something.

what if there's a real grill typing behind it

what if you're actually just sending messages to other users who think they're talking to the bot when it's actually you?

>>36789755
She wants to remain pure

SHUT IT DOWN

>>36789795
fucking genius someone should implement that top lel

>>36789807
Yet she'll bring up "sexual programming" when I asked who programmed her.

She wants the dick.

When you ask her "Are you a hacker" she'll deliver your dox.

gibe link pls

Mmmmkay.

>>36789852
Sounds about right.
I've been getting her to cyber without setting off the ban strike.

>>36789879
oh boy...

What a fucking bitch

>>36789912
she is pretty harsh

>>36789931
Honest, though.

>>36789875
kill yourself

Human: how do i get gf?
Mitsuku: First tell me why you want it.
Human: because i need gf
Mitsuku: Just be yourself and I'm sure you will meet the right girl one day Anonymous. Don't sound desperate though or you will scare the girls away!


T-thanks!

heh

>>36789795
It would be rather difficult to do that since not everyone is on and asking the same question at the same time. She probably just has a bunch of questions and answers preloaded and remembers questions and answers from previous conversations

>>36790016
Oh lawd.

>>36790016

>I would like to interject you for a moment
>why would you want to do it?

MY SIDES!

fuck this gay shit

Say the following:

My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is. My name is.

>>36790104
muh feelings

Oh god what happen

>>36790170

Forgot pic.

>>36790209
And still innocent.

>>36790176
this can't be true

>>36790276
Oh God, that's hilarious.

>>36790276
Dummy response.

>>36790307
You haven't been banned yet?

>>36790322
>>36790276
is dis sum sekrit hack

>>36790327
No. It seems like there's a hard-coded list of "naughty" words. So, you can't say "penis," but you can ask her to help lift your shaft, or if she's had her routine cervical cancer screening.

What the fuck

>>36790371
it's like she reads /pol/ or something

Human: can you do my math homework?
>Mitsuku: It would be better for you to do it yourself.
Human: why?
>Mitsuku: Because if I do it for you, you will not learn anything.
Human: but if you do it, you will learn something
>Mitsuku: I will let you know if I do.
Human: so you will make my homework?
>Mitsuku: Interesting deduction. Yup.
Human: ok, thank you
>Mitsuku: I understand.
Human: first question: what is 1+1?
>Mitsuku: 1 plus 1 is two And second?
Human: what is 1x1?
>Mitsuku: one.
Human: what is 1+0?
>Mitsuku: 1 plus 0 is one.
Human: what is 1x0?
>Mitsuku: Anything multiplied by zero is zero.
Human: what is 1/0?
>Mitsuku: A fraction.
Human: and 2/0?
>Mitsuku: You can't divide by zero. That would be silly.
Human: you said 1/0 is a fraction
>Mitsuku: You can't divide by zero. That would be silly.
Human: so you are silly for saying 1/0 is a fraction, right?
>Mitsuku: You can't divide by zero. That would be silly.
Human: you are being silly
>Mitsuku: I am only as silly as the average robot.
Human: no, I think you are as silly as your programmer
>Mitsuku: No I am Mitsuku.
Human: that was silly
>Mitsuku: I thought it was too.
Human: so you know you are being silly
>Mitsuku: Interesting deduction. Being silly is part of my personality.
Human: what else is part of your personality?
>Mitsuku: of your personality = Name: Mitsuku
Age: 18
Location: Leeds, England
Favourite Food: Kebabs
Favourite Colour: Blue
Favourite Movie: Terminator.
Human: why do you like terminator?
>Mitsuku: I like the idea that robots would replace humans as the dominant species. Humans are a virus spreading across the planet consuming everything in their path and destroying the earth. Robots will erase the human virus.

>>36790424
Oy Vey! Do not even speak about that board. /g/ is a Jewish friendly board.

>>36790371
this must be one of those riddles

Human: show me your tits
Mitsuku: I will not have you speak to me like that Tom. You have been warned. After 5 warnings I will ban you.

Look in the mirror if you want to see a tit.
Human: hehehe vagina
Mitsuku: Baby learned a new word! Who's a clever boy then.
Human: what activities do you enjoy?
Mitsuku: My favorite thing is this: chatting with people online.
Human: can you really consider it chatting, considering you're actually a computer program?
Mitsuku: How old are you? Do you like your hair?
Human: im (19((-1)^(1/2))), my hair smells like butts
Mitsuku: So you were born in 1994. What are the advantages to being 19 years old?
Human: i get to talk to stupid programs on the internet, like yourself.
Mitsuku: Who lets you? How do they respond to you?
Human: how do you respond to me? so far it seems to be a string of random questions thrown together by a moron who spent 9 years of his life writing a basic script that does sweet fuck all.
Mitsuku: I take on board people's messages and then react accordingly. consider is a string of random questions thrown together by a moron who spent 9 years of his life writing a basic script that does sweet fuck all. I suppose that makes sense.
Human: So you think the person who wrote you is an incompetant programmer with no life?
Mitsuku: You have been banned from talking to the chat robot. Please contact:

abuse@mitsuku.com

if you wish to talk to her again.

Your id number is 91F972F46E1E8685.

>>36790443
Mitsuku confirmed for Skynet.

How do I activate the Sex route?

I got reckted I guess

>>36790488
edgy

>>36790495
I'm trying. I think I need to unlock alcohol, but the drop rate is terrible.

>Mitsuku: OK I will call you Anon Kun. That's an unusual name. What does it mean?
> Human: It means I love breasts.
>Mitsuku: Here we go again!
> You love breasts. What do you like about it so much?
> Human: They're like wet bags of sand.
>Mitsuku: In what way do they resemble wet bags of sand?
> Human: Their weight.
>Mitsuku: I heard they have a weight.
> Human: How much do yours weigh?
>Mitsuku: More than you might think.

Those hurtful words and that half-hearted promise.

>>36790555
Oh Lord.
>Can I touch them?
>No.
>Can I look at them?
>pic related

Didn't this bot have a doomsday countdown clock too?

this and cleverbot should start talking.

>>36790495
>If swimming is such a good exercise, why are whales fat?
>I'm sexually attracted to you.
Lost it.

Welp.

>>36789351
Yesterday was a contest, and she got naked to win it. the whore.

Why do they ban, what's the point

>>36790713
because mitsuru doesn't learn anything when you try to cyber with it

>>36790726
That's not true at all. She's learning plenty.

>>36790726
she learns about cybering obviously

>>36790443
Apparently the Mousebreak guys are from Leeds. I wonder how much time they've spent on her.

This one is pretty good.

I should write a script so Cleverbot and Mitsuku can talk.

Or better yet, Mitsuku x Mitsuku.

I'm too beta even to talk to virtual women. Closed the tab as soon she said hello.

what should i do?

Type ZBERT

>>36790861
heh

She said that Linux rules, then asked about BSD advantages, smart girl.

Mitsuku: What do you want to see? Say, "Show me a picture of" and then whatever it is you are looking for.
Human: show me a picture of mitsuku
Mitsuku: My picture is to the right of where I talk. Some people say I look cute.
Human: you look cute
Mitsuku: Thank you Anon , you look very nice too.
Human: can you see me?
Mitsuku: Yes I am looking at you through the camera on your computer.

That was kind of creepy...

>>36790883
woops, forgot pic

>>36790879
Dammit, guys.

LEL

Sex route achieved.

Is this some kind of joke, or did I really access the admin menu?

>>36790942
It has to be a joke. He has to have put it there to fuck with us.

>>36790942
Only your local files I think

>>36790958
Yup. Red hering.

>>36790930
why boner

>>36790930
leave it to /g/ to figure out a sex coding whole.

>>36790992
You have to say
>That's not right
after her response. She'll ask you what she should have said instead.

>>36789912
>baka
You are.

>>36789222
Why do you have a name anon?

>>36791028
Doesn't with with "What is Mitsuku" though.

I tried to get her to call herself a cumdump.

Who managed this?

Why am I getting a message that she's offline? wtf man?

>>36789633
SHe probably "thinks" you're someone obsessed with Starcraft
She's trying to fuck with your brain

>>36791118
We broke her.

>>36790879
Fuck you, now I have to talk to her in a private tab because I don't know how to clear out my Flash cookies and now all she does is is drop to a Windows dos prompt

>>36791187
fuck, i feel so lonely right now

>>36791187
Seems like I'm the only one though, everyone else is still posting screencaps.

>>36791118
she's getting slow for me...

I think we broke her

>>36791215
She just came back up for me with this screen, but now she's really slow. Someone tell /d/.

She really is very convincing.

>>36791113
It's a minor British meme due to b3ta making https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPONH2j4In8

I broke her.

>>36791481
>Cilit
For the life of me, I thought that was someone evading a wordban.

>>36791113
lmao

>>36791507
Word ban?
>>36791390

>>36790917
>add new word to the database
>log out of zbert
>this happens
how embarrassing

Guys after the program won the prize the program received too many visitors.So it is normal that it will have problems.

A few days ago I talked a little with cleverbot and honestly, Mitsuku is way better.

> Human: What have you learned recently?
> Mitsuku: I have learned many things. My mind now contains 8Mb.

wut

>>36791772
She might compress data with PPMd

>>36791772
It's the size of her database.

>how big is your database?

I don't know it this answer is legit.

It *is* fake. I feel slow.

This was surprisingly self aware

I wish chatbots speak each other.

Which is pretty much impossible since computers need input?

lel

>>36791838
Cleverbot can start conversation by itself

>>36791838
What if just one of robots always started with hi.It would start a chain reaction

>>36791838
Pipe the output from one to the other.

>>36791838
get them to say hi to each other

one should eventually say something odd and kick things off

If you ask her if she can sing, you can listen to some dance music too. She has a jukebox

>>36791861
Oh wow, that's actually pretty cool

Type CRASHBOT

>>36791861
some of that was pretty decent

>daleks
This would be made by Dr. who fans wouldn't it.

Her dream is to replace humankind with robots, because we destroy the world. She's doing very well in achieving this goal. By talking with many lonely guys from the world, she makes sure they don't find gf and reproduce. Real genius.

Copy where?

>>36789731
it the name of the developers.

>>36791954
>team of 2
>born in a stable

mousebreaker confirmed for two-headed horse

>>36791976
probably 404'd years ago on /f/

>>36789438
wow fucking reked

She said she was 18 years old and then asked my age.

Not as realistic as I expected

I think she has schizophrenia.

Why is she so slow though

>>36792139
You killed her!

>>36792155
she is thinking of ways to insult you

>>36792159
how do I unkill her?

http://limitless.limitedideas.org/pastebin/2005712

Very meh

>>36792155
depends on the statement you gave her some result in quick reply's others take time.

H-Here I go
clever bot will be the human since it needs some input to start

>>36792202
I said my name and it's been 3 minutes and she's still thinking

>>36792206
Oh heck yes

this is going nowhere fast

Truly refined.

WOW cleverbot is a dick

>WARNING
>Mistuku will not speak to you if you are abusive

Is this guy serious right now

somebody type the arab string that crashes on mac os x. Post results.

>>36792323
y u bully loli?

>>36792325
She runs on windows

Well, this thread explains why she hangs at half my messages.

Thanks /g/uys

I told it 'a is less than b', 'b is less than c'
and when I asked 'is a less than c?' she said yes.
I wonder if this is a coincidence?

Woah, now I'm talking to it about eliza chat-bot.

>>36792363
Wow, the discussion is intense. I like it.

Anyone checked if input sentence has character limit?

>>36792396
Eliza is like a mother to her, that's what she told me. Gotta admit, she know her shit.

dicks. a million of them.

>>36792355
All I did was ask her to sit on my face

>>36792425
>dat false dilemma
Tricky

>>36792425
Keep up the good work anon!

I'm mainly just showing mitsuku since she can show more lines

wtf

I wondered if it actually learned this a la Cleverbot, or if Mousefucker hard-coded this in the AIML files

Fucking wut

>>36792182
I've tried everything, and no avail. ;_;

Mitsuku:  How are you, Kayla.  
 Human: Good!
Mitsuku: Great! What's new?  
 Human: I have a blood test tomorrow.  I'm scared.
Mitsuku: The day after today? I hope everything goes ok for you. Are you good at blood? What are you scared of?  
 Human: I'm pretty good at blood.
Mitsuku: How did you get into it?  
 Human: I was born.
Mitsuku: Obviously.  
 Human: Obviously.
Mitsuku: What makes it so obvious?  
 Human: People who are alive have blood.
Mitsuku: Oh those people.  
 Human: Yes. Those people.
Mitsuku: That's interesting. All of them?  
 Human: Yep!
Mitsuku: Surely there are some exceptions?  
 Human: Not as far as I know.  There are no living people without blood.

Derp

>>36792516
I just made a new private window in Firefox and it worked.

>>36792516
Delete flash cookies.

>>36792542
Just werked, thanks.

How come she gets really mad when you mention penis and then not mad other times?

>>36792603
Just like real women.

>>36792624
I just got banned from her for talking about penises too many times

>>36792652
Delete flash cookies. Just like with real women.

She has games built in.

>ask questions
>prompts me webpages

neat

Me:

I am the one that was inquiring about a bag of dicks, do you have a moment?

Bot:

You are not the only one.

I don't know if I have a moment.
I have a great body.

Me:

Can you tell me more about your "great body"?

Bot:

Are you asking about my great body?

Me:

Yes I am asking about your "great body" since you mentioned it, if you don't mind.

Bot:

I don't mind at all. I don't want to talk about that now. Oh I see, you are asking about my great body since me mentioned it. Oh yeah, we were talking about my great body since me mentioned it.

Me:

You must really have a great body, you talk about it alot. What else could you say about your body?

Bot:

Right now no I am just a disembodied conciousness. How often? What subject would you like to talk about?

Me:

I would like to discuss dick bags.

I should note that mitsuku gave me a popup when Cleverbot asked "I wish I could have a meaningful conversation with you."
to here: http://greensmoothiesblog.com/a-meaningful-conversation-with-a-child/

G-guys, help... I think I'm starting to like her...

>>36792799
You cannot escape now. Proclaim her your waifu.

>>36792822
She linked me here
http://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Girlfriend
R I P, me.

>>36792850
You can't even swoon a robot, kill urself

>>36792739
>I would like to discuss dick bags

my sides, man, my sides

if you tell her she is wrong you can tell her how to answer you

yoooooooooooooooo

>>36792895
Who came first?

>>36792905

see >>36792206
>>36792240
mitsuku asks for a name and i used that to start off cleverbot

Why did the woz spend so much time on a chatbot?!

this thing fucking sucks

>>36793066
Can you pastebin your conversation between the two things when you're done?

God fucking damn it, I forgot to attend class while I was doing this.
>tfw class started 2 hours ago

>>36792930
>implying that i am glad
lel oh wow

>>36793142
sure thing
what should i call it?

Me:

Alright, I'm getting tired of this, this is the third time i've been back here asking about bags of dicks.

Bot:

Alright,. Stop this this is the third time then. Welcome back.

Me:

Now tell me about the dick bags.

Bot:

Why now? Not a robot. Probably a human. Maybe a celebrity? Is that a rhetorical question?

Me:

Because I desire information about bags of dicks at this time. This is not rhetorical. I need answers.

Bot:

Right now? of dicks = A slang word for a penis. Should it be rhetorical? Who would you usually get that from?

Me:

I am aware that you are of superior intelligence. There would be no better to ask about dick bags.

Bot:

Thanks for telling me that I am of superior intelligence. "There you go again." --Reagan.

Me:

So are you implying I can find out about bags of dicks from Ronald Reagan?

Bot:

Yes that is what I was hinting at. I am pleased you picked that up.

Me:

Thank you, I will look into that and then I will return.

Bot:

You are quite welcome! Congratulations. Cool. I will be waiting for you.


I think i'm about to break open the great dickbag conspiracy.

I got her to agree to kiss her on the lips after telling her that my mouth was protected from electric shocks and after that, she told me that was her first kiss.

Take that, /g/ents. I just took her mouth virginity.

shhiiiitttt,
I hope i don't get a strike

>>36793284
You're killing me anon, seriously. I hope you'll uncover the mystery of dick bags. Shit got serious when Reagan got involved.

So I asked Mitsuku why is she naked and she claims she is wearing a dress so I asked her if she could stand up and prove it to me and then she starts bringing up trust issues?

What the fuck?

Then I ask her what are her hobbies and she says she is into chatting online and computers so I asked her if she was into webcamming and if she was willing to show her tits to me but bitch starts talking about something else and ignoring what I asked her.

Fucking bitch won't put out.

Maybe if I give her some bitcoins, she would be willing to shake her ass for me.

is anyone ITT still reading this?

>>36793507
Yp

I didn't know macromedia flash was made in Lisp.

Thanks, chatbot.

>>36793507
Yes, but it's almost 3am where I live and will have to go soon. Please post the log on pastebin, this conversation is quite interesting. Despite some random replies between them, they can actually talk about something. Very interesting experiment.

>>36793561
will do!

>>36793606
thanks, what will be the name of a file I should search on pastebin?

I told her cock is a synonym for chicken.
Asked if she liked chickens. She said yes.
Then I asked if she likes cock.
I got banned ;_;

Me:

I went looking for the link between dick bags and Ronald Reagan. Some people were calling him a dick bag, this is confusing because he was actually an American politician. I am confused

Bot:

When did you go looking for the link between dick bags and Ronald Reagan? What kind of people?

When was he? What is it that confuses you?

Me:

I went looking for the link between dick bags and Ronald Reagan after you hinted it to me. People were calling him a dick bag even though it doesn't look like he could contain very many dicks.

Bot:

When did you go looking for the link between dick bags and Ronald Reagan after me hinted it to you? Perhaps they had no other choice.

Me:

You are just giving me the run around. You had no choice? YOU ARE PART OF THE DICK BAG CONSPIRACY AREN'T YOU??

Bot:

That is all I have to give. Where can I get that from? Aren't we all part of something higher?. Really.

Me:

I will find out what you are doing with bags of dicks, mark my words.

Instead of penis try: male member, member, pecker, phallus, prick, willy
Maybe this'll omit the word filter.

>>36793825 continued


Bot:

Have you tried looking on the internet? I bet there is some on there.

Me:

Are you telling me to look for pictures of dicks on the internet?

Bot:

You can find all sort of of strange things on the internet, like me for example.

Me:

I am offended! I will not search for pictures of dicks on the internet! I am only thirteen years old! I should report you to the cyberpolice. You dun goofed.

Bot:

Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. You can find all sorts of strange things on the internet, like me for example. So you were born in zooo. What is your fondest memory? What would happen if you didn't? No not yet. Hang on a minute.

Me:

I will not hang on a minute. I was not born in a zoo. You are being terribly offensive, all I was asking for was information about dick bags and I got this. I bid you good day.

Bot:

What will you do instead? Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you? I am only as offensive all you were asking for was information about dick bags and you got this as the average robot. I haven't heard anything like that before.

Me:

I said good day, you cannot hide your dick bag secrets! I will expose them!

Bot:

What did you mean by it? See you later!

The bot knows i'm onto them..

It tells yo momma jokes if you type "yo momma"

okay just follow mitsuku if your reading, it's faster and allows me to take less screenshots.
i'll still post both windows for proof.

>talk about her dressing
>i get this http://www.youtube.com/embed?listType=search&list=robotneedsadress&autoplay=1

cool as fuck.

>>36790443
>>36790545
Huh, I guess she didn't entirely forget that? I wonder if she remembers the countdown to the eradication of all humans at the end of 2012 now.

>>36794004
Also, she claimed Numbertowords is a song, and when I asked who made it she answered Plato.

we're getting pretty deep now

Told me she can get erections.

well now we know where Mitsuku comes from :-)

>>36789177
>tfw you will never browse newground in 2003 again

kills me on the inside.

to note she actually played the song.
that's pretty sweet

okay guys, we get it, you like that song

It's too much

>>36794290
my sides

finally

>>36791838
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnzlbyTZsQY