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19 KB Diney Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)18:18 No.4416761  
We all know Disney tends to make strange, child friendly parodies of certain of legends or historic works. We saw this with Hercules, Mulan and the Sword in the Stone. So I was wondering... if you could chose a source material for Disney to make a movie out of, what would you chose and how do you think it'd be changed?

I'd personally like to try and see their take on the Epic of Gilgamesh. This is how I picture it.

Gilgamesh is described as being somewhat of a disheartened king-god who sleeps with a lot of women. This makes him fit the role of a celebrity PERFECTLY. A guy who's famous but has a lot of scandals about him and is constantly "flirting" with women (I understand that Disney wouldn't want to shout out SEX right there but nothing wrong with hinting I guess). So I'd picture him as being this guy who comes up on the brick walls of Uruk wearing sunglasses and acting like a regular old prick. Think of a combination between Hercules and Kuzco and that's pretty much Gil right there.

Then we have Endiku who's described as being a wild man. Now you can take this literally and make him some kinda Mowgli-esq character. But I personally see him more as being some rock star type of guy who basically shows up and starts trashing places.

From there we could probably have one huge buddy story that ends with Endiku's death (probably some manly tears involved) and Gil coming to understand what it means to have immortality.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)18:20 No.4416780
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>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)18:21 No.4416786
Kind of want to see their take on Romance of the Three Kingdoms, just to see their versions of Lu Bu and Cao Cao.

Especially Cao Cao, since Disney films virtually never show things except in simple black and white he'll most likely be a pure evil villain.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)18:24 No.4416807

...that would be awesome.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)18:26 No.4416819
I..I don't totally hate that idea...I almost kind of like it
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)18:27 No.4416824
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Fuck Yea Mongrels.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)18:42 No.4416904
The Call of Cthulhu.

Somewhere between Pete the Dragon and the Iron Giant.

It could take place in the 1920s, where a young man finds his great uncle's long lost manuscripts that tell of a great monster that lies beneath the waves, ready to bring about the END of the WORLD. After mistakenly reading aloud the incantation, his world is flipped upside down, and it's a race against time to find the man mentioned in the manuscripts as the only one who can stop the horrible being from bringing the apocalypse.
But when the "harbinger of ragnarok" turns out to be a 10 foot tall, loveable monster with with a heart as big as he is and the curiosity to match, the young man has more than the fate of humanity to worry about! Will his colleagues believe this happy-go-lucky squid isn't the evil abomination history assumes he is, or will the strange cult who believes otherwise capture him to use for their own evil deeds?
A story about how one's fate isn't as set in stone as you think it is, and how even an abomination can win the hearts of even the coldest of men.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)18:44 No.4416918
My Neighbor Chtulhu
>> Bea 06/04/08(Wed)18:45 No.4416926

I want this but I don't want it at the same time.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)18:46 No.4416934

OP here.

To change about some un-Christian things we could have Shamhat be one of Gilgamesh's advisor's but instead of making her a prostitute her "job" would basically be an inverse of My Fair Lady with her trying to teach Endiku how to be civilized.

Naturally he's just following her cause she's hot. When Gilgamesh shows up at the celebrity wedding to flirt with the bride, Endiku shows up and gets angry at Gil cause he's a morally justified person with Shamhat's help and some prodding from her.

Eventually Gil and the bride wind up inside a room with the door closed behind when Endiku runs in. The bride runs out and the two start fighting. That's when the people on the outside of the room start to hear some very suggestive lines from the two as they fight inside (most of the innuendo will go over kids heads anyway) and Gil will make various comments like



*crash* "STOP THAT! IT HURTS!"

At which point I'm expecting at least one female person listening in to faint.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)18:46 No.4416938
This sounds really awesome
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)18:48 No.4416946
I'd like to see Disney combine the Seven Ravens and Brave Little Tailor.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)18:53 No.4417002
A lot of Grim's fairy tales are left to be "Disney'd"

I'd like to see the one about the ice queen.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)18:57 No.4417035
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No matter how wonderful their adaptation would be, it would suck compared to this.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)19:18 No.4417252

In this tale I'd assume Ishtar would be the main antagonist. Not necessarily EVIL just VERY advancing toward Gilgamesh. She'd spend the next few parts of the movie possibly speaking with Humbaba about various evil plots of hers to win Gil's love.

Eventually Gil dodges her advances and comes out she's a wicked bitch so she gets pissed and does a typical 16 year old temper tantrum about Gil not liking her to Anu.

There could also be a small song cue in there that basically tells of Gilgamesh's and Endiku's exploits as the two go about killing demons and the divine bull.

I'm not too sure about the climax. I'm thinking it might involve something like Gil going to the netherworld to try and rescue Endiku and him coming into confrontation with Ishtar but that sounds too much like the ending to Hercules only more homosexual.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)19:23 No.4417310
What about the hedgehog one then? Thye can use another cute mascot.
>> humblebee 06/04/08(Wed)19:27 No.4417371
Your idea sounds awesome.

I'd like disney to do more tales from different cultures, or heavily involved with non-Eurocentric cultures. I loved Mulan, the African vibes of Lion King (of course, the play version makes these a million times more evident, but still), and jungle book, aladin, etc. I look forward to the 20's themed one. You know what, I like most of what disney does. D:
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)19:30 No.4417410
>Gilgamesh is described as being somewhat of a disheartened tyrant-god who rapes almost every woman in his city-state.

Fixed. No need to shy away from it, he was not a good person.

I do like the idea though.
>> parabolic000 !!HfL9M9xslOG 06/04/08(Wed)19:34 No.4417456
he was a good king for his time.
also, look at OP's picture. he's fucking huge. that's a full-grown lion he's got in a headlock.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)19:39 No.4417516

>he was not a good person.

For the time period he was about the best ruler one could ask for. Keep in mind that Hercules, in the original legend, went insane and KILLED Megra... yea Disney kinda left that out.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)20:04 No.4417936
That is an awesome pitch, all Disney movies inspired by other cultures, like Mulan and Lion King (even though Walt took the whole Lion King idea from Kimba the White Lion) were pretty good. Maybe a Norse storyline with Vikings (Disney takes liberties with making characters, since they didn't put in Hercules killing Megara like the original legend said). I await the return of traditional Disney animation, because Pixar wouldn't do Gil or my Norse pitch any justice. Hopefully the Princess and the Frog and the Bear and the Bow will bring back traditional animation, whenever they come out.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)20:06 No.4417983
OP here.

I'm trying to think of good actors for the guys...

I'm TEMPTED to use Kuzco's voice for Gil but I don't want to type-cast here...
>> the unicorn Lord !4HLpXn8cJg 06/04/08(Wed)20:09 No.4418020
IIT: we rape Historical literature and make them kid friendly?
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)20:10 No.4418043
>Keep in mind that Hercules, in the original legend, went insane and KILLED Megra... yea Disney kinda left that out.

Uh, you're kind of leaving out some important shit there to make Herc sound like a bad guy.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)20:13 No.4418083
Except the legend specifically mentions his raping of all the women on their wedding nights as a pretty obscene crime that was really starting to piss people off, and their prayers for protection from him were the catalyst for the creation of Enkidu. It was never something that was shrugged off as "lol kings do that stuff he's still a great guy", it was bad shit. Have you even read it?
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)20:14 No.4418091
It's a Disney thread. So yes.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)20:15 No.4418119
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I think we all know who needs to do Gilgamesh's voice.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)20:18 No.4418163

Yea I know it was Hera who did it. I just thought I'd point it out.


Welcome to Disney.


Yea I know it's bad shit he did. I'd imagine he's somewhat the George Bush of his generation. Save the women had all the oil.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)20:19 No.4418164

Okay, c'mon, how would you make the Norse legends kid friendly? They're depressing, fatalistic, full of misogyny, rape, bloody battle, suicide, and tragedy. Over half the characters are total dicks.

I mean, Odin. ODIN.
>> the unicorn Lord !4HLpXn8cJg 06/04/08(Wed)20:19 No.4418171
Patrick Warburton?
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)20:20 No.4418176

Richard White? That could work...
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)20:32 No.4418350
Actually that's not the specific reason why the people prayed to the gods and Enkidu was created. It was because Gilgamesh was in general a tyrant, even if he was the greatest king. The sleeping with newely wed wives was just one of his abuses of power.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)21:20 No.4418997
I wonder how they would fit in Gilgamesh's quest for immortality?
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)21:32 No.4419188

OP here.

I'd kinda put that in more as a side-plot or possibly leave it out altogether. I'd rather have him focus more on his relation with Endiku and Shamat than any HUGE JOURNEY.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)21:36 No.4419230
That sounds more Bluth than Disney
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)21:40 No.4419285
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>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)21:43 No.4419319
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)21:43 No.4419326
I read less than 4 sentences of the OP's post, and already one thing is clear in my mental image.

Kill me. Do not hesitate, for I go to a greater place than the hell that I would experience were I to remain.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)21:48 No.4419401

Wow. You're THAT pissed off over Disney's alteration of stories?
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)21:51 No.4419437

OP here.

I didn't think I did anything worse than what Disney's already done.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)22:16 No.4419793

Marvel did it without any problems.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)22:23 No.4419904
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>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)22:23 No.4419914
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>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)22:24 No.4419925
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>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)22:25 No.4419939
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>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)22:39 No.4420199
the 47 Ronin instead of death it could be jail.

then IDK
>> you never see it Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)23:04 No.4420579
Jews rule entretainment industrie
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)23:30 No.4421021
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Holy cow! What a scoop!
>> Shirou !lORCIa01Kk 06/04/08(Wed)23:42 No.4421190

That's why they'll go for it!

GILGAMESH! It's practically a Jewish word in it's own right!
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)23:46 No.4421255
Well, Abraham was from one of Ur or one of those ancient babylonian cities. It's like the prequel to the old testament.
>> Anonymous 06/04/08(Wed)23:48 No.4421280

That's debatable.
>> Anonymous 06/05/08(Thu)01:38 No.4422918
Well they could have at least have not used Hades as their villain in Hercules. So what if he rules the land of the dead? He's not supposed to be a bad guy, just a bit grim and strict.
>> Anonymous 06/05/08(Thu)02:30 No.4423579
You know, that's really no worse than any of the stuff I used to read/watch when I was a little kid.
>> Anonymous 06/05/08(Thu)02:53 No.4423843
I'd like Disney to do 120 Days of Sodom by the Marquis de Sade.
>> Anonymous 06/05/08(Thu)03:06 No.4424004
>even though Walt took the whole Lion King idea from Kimba the White Lion

Walt has been dead/cryogenically frozen since the 60s. He probably didn't have anything to do with the Lion King.
>> Anonymous 06/05/08(Thu)03:06 No.4424008
I thought your idea was gold, personally. I'd watch it.
>> Anonymous 06/05/08(Thu)03:17 No.4424096
Ice Queen NOT Brothers Grimm.

How about รก movie abiout little withe trash Walt. Coming from shitty family he turns out to be a famous animator and racist. Hurray what the kids could learn from that.
>> Anonymous 06/05/08(Thu)03:33 No.4424275

Yes. The whole concept of the "Lord of the Underworld" being evil comes from (in our culture at least) from The Devil.

Hades is a god that has a grim job. He may have tricked Persephone into staying with him for at least a portion of the year, but you gotta understand that the land of the dead is not an "evil" place, although Tartarus DID exist as an area of punishment.

The Greco-Roman underworld was mostly filled with shades of people who once lived. There WAS a heaven of sorts- the Elysian Fields, where only the greatest and most noble of heroes can/could go.
>> Anonymous 06/05/08(Thu)03:36 No.4424300
>He may have tricked Persephone into staying with him for at least a portion of the year

You mean raped the shit out of his child niece? He wasn't a good guy.

Oh he was much nicer than most other Greek gods but that's like saying Charles Manson was nice compared to Hitler.
>> Anonymous 06/05/08(Thu)03:39 No.4424314
Compared to almost all the other Greek Gods Hades was a saint. Zeus raped women, little boys, and a few things that just weren't human all the time and he was treated as the benevolent father god.
>> Anonymous 06/05/08(Thu)03:53 No.4424413
No no you misunderstand. It's not that I thought "Oh hey this Anon's idea sucks."

It's that I could imagine Disney doing this, and in the process butchering what I thought was unbutcherable.

Plus I'm just not a fan of some of the over-exaggerated bits in Disney stories. Stuff like The Emp's new Groove killed me in that respect. There's a line that all too often is crossed when it comes to satire/ flair, and gaudy/ annoying.

I also did not like Rockadoodle.
>> Anonymous 06/05/08(Thu)04:05 No.4424527
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I'm pretty sure Disney's never raped Journey to the West. I know there was one animated version that got dubbed into English as "Alakazam the Great" (Alakazam/"Ali", the Monkey King voiced by Frankie Avalon), so It's already been brought down to a kid level, and already has a pretty good moral element. Everyone who wasn't the Prince was flawed, defeated, and reformed. I think a monkey with an immovable rod is cool enough that he doesn't need to be a bizarre rockstar parody of himself.
>> Anonymous 06/05/08(Thu)04:06 No.4424536
I hate the rockstar parody. Rock stars fucking suck anyway. They're subhuman. Why would you want one as a main character?
>> The Young /co/mp/a/triot 06/05/08(Thu)04:42 No.4424900

I like this idea, if only because there have never been any movies about the King of Heroes but one problem with the innuendo there is that it wouldn't last long, remember, Gil and Enkidu's fight pretty much went all across the city of Uruk and they trashed more buildings than the Power Rangers do in an entire season.

Another suggestion for a myth-based Disney movie The Legend of Cu Chulainn.
>> Anonymous 06/05/08(Thu)04:50 No.4424953
>King of Heroes
>> The Young /co/mp/a/triot 06/05/08(Thu)04:56 No.4424990
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I am there, and here as well.

On the note for voice actors for a Gilgamesh animation here's my vote:
Jonathan Frakes as Gilgamesh
Keith David as Enkidu