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260 KB Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:26 No.42295401  
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?

It was in-tents.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:27 No.42295419
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>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:27 No.42295427
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>> Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:27 No.42295432
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If whales are such good musicians, why don't they form Orcastras?
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:27 No.42295441
i just fuckin smashed my table and my glass of water dropped. thank you.
>> Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:28 No.42295471
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If a fire hydrant has H20 on the inside, ont he outside it must contain K9P.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:28 No.42295474
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>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:28 No.42295476
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If only i have realized this earlier
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:29 No.42295484
best thread of the day
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:29 No.42295502
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Why don't ants go into the church?

Because they are in-sects.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:30 No.42295515
almost the same here, but it was my coke
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:30 No.42295529
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This thread calls for a FIESTA
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:30 No.42295535
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>> Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:31 No.42295547
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Did you hear about the quadrupal amputee stranded in the pool?

I believe his name was Bob.
>> Waffleman !!ROQTDpFz9VR 11/10/10(Wed)16:31 No.42295552
Is Ika Musume cute?

I geso.
>> Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:32 No.42295576
So two cannibals were eating a clown. One cannibal stops, and looked to the other. He asks:

"Does this taste funny?
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:32 No.42295598
All of my rage and laughter.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:32 No.42295599
ITT: one bad pun after another
>> Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:32 No.42295601
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It would appear I made a slight mistake. It's okay, I think I got the picture across.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:32 No.42295602
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:33 No.42295609
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>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:33 No.42295619
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>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:34 No.42295648
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I can bearly contain my laughter.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:34 No.42295649
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I chuckled.
>> Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:35 No.42295668
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My friend went in for surgery on his toe the other day. Needed some prosthetics, or something. Apparently in the middle of surgery, the surgeon received some mail. His new name is Roberto.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:35 No.42295688
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>> Waffleman !!ROQTDpFz9VR 11/10/10(Wed)16:36 No.42295699
My older sister has a paper due tomorrow, but she keeps playing video games! She won't get anywhere in life with all this procrasti-nee-chan.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:36 No.42295704
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A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:36 No.42295705
Saving all these.
>> Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:36 No.42295711
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I was walking down the road the other day, when I saw a dog walk out of a building! As he walked out,t he door slammed shut on his tail! Can you believe it!

"Are you okay, little dog?!" I asked. He looked at me a bit puzzled, and simply responded:

"It won't be long now."
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:36 No.42295715
tan would have worked better.
>> Al Weaboss 11/10/10(Wed)16:37 No.42295746
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More bad puns dammit, MORE.
>> Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:38 No.42295760
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Did anybody else hear about the octopus who went to war?

I heard he's well armed.
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)16:39 No.42295772
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Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during the root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:39 No.42295785
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>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:39 No.42295800
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>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)16:39 No.42295802
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>Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.
>> Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:40 No.42295809
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So two chimneys were sitting next to the other. One chimney was relatively new to the building, while the other had been there for years. Suddenly, a cloud appears out of the new one. The older chimney looks over towards him, and slaps him. Angrily, he scolds:

"You're too young to smoke!"
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:40 No.42295837
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Enough is enough.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:41 No.42295859
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Two nuns walk into a liquor store and one asked the clerk for the biggest bottle of Irish whiskey he had.

The clerk replied "Heck no sister, you're nuns and aren't supposed to drink that stuff!"

The nun said "Well my son it is not for us you see, it is for Mother Teresa," then the nun whispers "She has the constipation."

The clerk said "Oh, in that case, it's on the house. Here's the biggest jug we have."

The nuns thank him, bless him, and leave.

A few hours later, as the clerk is leaving, he sees the same two sisters in the parking lot, rolling around and drinking the Irish whiskey. Appalled, he goes over to them and says "You ladies lied to me! You told me it was for Mother Teresa for her constipation!"

One of the nuns takes another swig, looks up at him and says "You wanna know something buddy? She sure will shit when she sees us!"
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:41 No.42295865
Back in the day, why couldn't they condemn a girl that had a twin for sorcery ?

'cause you can't tell which witch is which

>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:41 No.42295868
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Keep goin OP
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)16:41 No.42295878
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, They’re twins!

If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal!
>> Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:41 No.42295886
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So I walked in my house the other day, and there on the floor was something brown, and sticky!

It was a twig.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:42 No.42295889
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:42 No.42295916
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<--- Obligatory
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)16:42 No.42295919
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What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway).
>> Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:43 No.42295922
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So two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:43 No.42295928


>> Al Weaboss 11/10/10(Wed)16:43 No.42295932
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i and pi are having an argument.

i tells pi 'Be rational.'
pi responds with 'Get real.'
>> Antopathos 11/10/10(Wed)16:43 No.42295937
Read pun. Click this.

>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:43 No.42295942
The Pope and the Queen of England are on the same stage at an Anglican and Catholic commemoration of the Anglo-Irish accords. The crowd is huge - thousands. Her Majesty and His Holiness, can't help but have a little rivalry, both being heads of churches and all.

The Queen says to the Pope, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every English person in the crowd go wild?"

He doubts it, so she shows him. Sure enough, the royal-gloved wave elicits rapture and cheering from every Englishman in the crowd. Gradually the cheering subsides.

The Pope, not wanting to be outdone by someone wearing a worse frock and hat than he, considers what he could do. So the Pope says to the Queen, "Your Majesty, that was impressive. But did you know that with one little wave of MY hand I can make every Irish person in the crowd go crazy with joy? Their joy will not be a momentary display like that of your subjects, but will go deep into their hearts, and they will speak forever of this day and rejoice. They will recount it to their grandchildren and they to their descendants."

The Queen seriously doubts this, and says so. "One little wave of your hand and all Irish people will rejoice forever? Show me."

So the Pope slaps her.
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)16:43 No.42295944
More like "Get a life"
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)16:44 No.42295974
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Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:44 No.42295985
Two whales are swimming along one day when one spots a boat up ahead. He turns to his buddy and says, "Hey, you wanna have some fun? Let's go tip over that boat!"

So they both head for the surface and get their lungs full of air. They then dive and shoot all the air out of their blowholes. The ship tips over as planned and the whales swim away.

Not too far away, the first whale turns to his buddy again and says, "Hey, how about we go back and swallow up some of the survivors?"

To this the second whale says, "Look, I don't mind giving a blow job, but I hate swallowing seamen."
>> Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:45 No.42296004
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So my friend started growing a garden. Apparently he started to grow it on his face! I looked to him, and exclaimed "You won't be able to do that on your face!"

He replies "I've already grown tulips."
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)16:45 No.42296009
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Two silk worms had a race.

They ended up in a tie.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:46 No.42296038
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>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:46 No.42296043
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Da ha ha ha! Good ones, man!
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)16:47 No.42296053
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A scientist doing a large experiment with liquid chemicals was trying to solve a problem when he fell in and became part of the solution.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:47 No.42296070
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>> Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:47 No.42296080
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What do vegan zombies eat?

>> Purple !GtrackyDQc 11/10/10(Wed)16:47 No.42296085
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>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:48 No.42296094
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So my friend was looking down the other day and I asked him what was wrong. He sighed and said

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:48 No.42296100
OP you are a great man
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)16:48 No.42296121
If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.
>> Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:49 No.42296125
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Two fish are swimming around in a tank frantically. One fish looks to the other and dictates:

"You drive! I'll man the guns!"
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:49 No.42296127
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>> King of Zeroes !TFB7IfWrrg 11/10/10(Wed)16:49 No.42296137
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>> Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:51 No.42296182
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A couple of elephants were swimming around in a pool the other day. Eventually, a lifeguard ran over to them, and ordered them out of the area!

Apparently they kept dropping their trunks.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:51 No.42296194
How does Bill Gates change a light bulb?

He doesn't - he declares Darkness the new industry standard.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:52 No.42296200
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>this entire thread
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)16:52 No.42296208
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When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)16:53 No.42296247
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Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
>> Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:53 No.42296257
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Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?

Because he had no body to go with.
>> Waffleman !!ROQTDpFz9VR 11/10/10(Wed)16:53 No.42296264
I adopted a child from a third world country to save him from having to work in a sweatshop.

For his birthday this year, I took him to Build-A-Bear Workshop.
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)16:55 No.42296310
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Be true to your teeth, or they will be false to you.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:56 No.42296341
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>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:57 No.42296350
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>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:57 No.42296369
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>> Salty Taro !0gPa6.A6t2 11/10/10(Wed)16:57 No.42296375
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I've got to get moving now, /a/. I'll be around some other time.

Remember, never tell the same joke twice. It eventually gets Salty.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:58 No.42296394
Anyone have the green-oval link for the Osaka Jokes thread? Seem to lost it and I'm too lazy to look for it.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:58 No.42296414
There's too much ecchi and erotic stuff in anime.
We should call it erome
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:59 No.42296434
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39 KB's not like I like this thread or anything.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:59 No.42296438
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Later! I'm off to do some runnin' in the sky
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:59 No.42296447

OP You're a hero.... Know that you didn't die invain.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)16:59 No.42296452
Black beauty, he was a dark horse.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:00 No.42296472
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

bcuz ur fat
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)17:00 No.42296497
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The optician fell into the lens grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.
>> Uncovered !Esper6.L46!!EQsADRxL4Z3 11/10/10(Wed)17:01 No.42296527
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Wait! Before you go, let me just give you a round of ap-paws.
>> Dusty !9QRangr.9A 11/10/10(Wed)17:02 No.42296537
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Best thread on /a/
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:02 No.42296550
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>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:03 No.42296604
I tossed a man in a meatgrinder. I didn't get his name. I'm gonna call him Chuck.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:04 No.42296641
I just bought a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it...
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:05 No.42296667
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>> Lelouch !!1UbEZR6JNG4 11/10/10(Wed)17:05 No.42296669
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>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:05 No.42296677
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What did Roa say to Ciel?

"Long time no be."
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:06 No.42296686

cracking up in the fucking library thanks jackass
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)17:06 No.42296695
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Old lawyers never die they just lose their appeal.

Guys I feel tired.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:06 No.42296700
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:06 No.42296702
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I want to hang a map of the world in my house, and then I’m gonna put pins into all the locations that I’ve traveled to. But first I’m gonna have to travel to the top two corners of the map so it won’t fall down.
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)17:07 No.42296734
When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:08 No.42296764
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I dropped my toothpaste this morning. I was quite crestfallen.
>> Ishikawa !zL6DdT4PgE 11/10/10(Wed)17:09 No.42296773
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Alright listen to this one!

What's a virgin and a balloon have in common ?

All it takes is one prick and its all over.
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)17:09 No.42296783
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Prison walls are never built to scale.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:09 No.42296791
I went to a quarry the other day and said to the foreman
"that's a big rock"
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:10 No.42296804
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>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:10 No.42296829
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>this thread
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)17:12 No.42296869
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If you don’t pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

Women who are good at fighting don't like to wait for my punchlines.
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)17:13 No.42296896
Kuroko is a teleporting 14 year old lesbian.

I guess you could say she comes just as fast as she leaves
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:13 No.42296917
Osaka jokes? I want it.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:14 No.42296947
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My neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic-converter
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:14 No.42296950
Somebody archive this shit
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)17:15 No.42296982
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:15 No.42296996

>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)17:16 No.42297016
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There was a ghost at the hotel, so they called for an inn spectre.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:17 No.42297052
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Mi casa es Tsukasa
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)17:17 No.42297058
Ancient orators tended to Babylon.
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)17:18 No.42297081
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It was raining cats and dogs. There were poodles all over the road.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:18 No.42297083
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I went to the watch shop the other day and said,
"i want to buy a watch"
"no, just a watch"
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:19 No.42297111
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>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)17:19 No.42297114
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When chemists die, we barium.
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)17:20 No.42297141
You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:22 No.42297215
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Went to the butchers the other day, as soon as i walked in the door the butcher said, "i bet you cant reach those peices of meat on that shelf over there"
i said "i'm not betting, the steaks are too high"
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:25 No.42297277
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>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)17:26 No.42297303
A hamburger was asked by his fellow burgers what his worst university subject was.

He answered "Economnomnomics"
>> !!!(つ゚Д゚)つ !tRollmsqz. 11/10/10(Wed)17:26 No.42297304
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Anyone else remember this?
I thought it was very punny.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:27 No.42297359
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>this thread
>> Kurusako !!AZvzn9uwW5P 11/10/10(Wed)17:29 No.42297444
Postby PatrickRsGhost » Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:12 pm UTC
A pirate walks into a bar. Bartender notices he has a belt buckle shaped like the steering wheel on a ship. The bartender asks about the wheel. The pirate replies...

"Y''s driving me nuts!"
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:30 No.42297458
guy walked up to me and said " ive got the bubonic plague!"

i said "don't give me that"
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:35 No.42297617
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Needs more cripple jokes.
>> Anonymous 11/10/10(Wed)17:36 No.42297659
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